Caught in the crosshairs of a dream killer
- Kyle Snyder: Live on Purpose
- January 28, 2024
- 597
“You can’t fit a 16-by-20 dream in a 5-by-7 mind.”
—Jim Raley
It would be nice if we shared our hopes and dreams with our friends and they would always encourage us. We all have people in our life we think should be happy for us but instead tear us down. Hopefully, all they are having is a really bad day, and they are happy for us. It just was bad timing. That is when we need to show people grace and love. It can be so difficult to be loving when we think people are against us. What we must remember is people are entitled to have an off day. I know I don’t want what I said on one of my off days to be held against me.
Let’s say it’s not an off day; they are just a negative person. Let me ask you this: If you had a baby, would you leave them with a stranger? Of course you wouldn’t. Then why tell your dreams to a negative person? They are only going to give you 9 million reasons why it won’t work. Our dreams are like our baby. Don’t hand them over to a kidnapper. If we let people with a questionable past babysit our children, then we could get a visit from Children’s Protective Services. We must protect our dreams the same way.
I was introduced to an older man with cerebral palsy probably about 15 years ago or more. He was successful with a wife, children, a grandchild and a business. I thought I could learn from him, but I soon found out he was a dream killer. When I began my column, he was happy for me, until he found out I was writing for everyone. If it didn’t help just the disabled, then he thought it was bad. I thought what a small view of life. Because I am disabled, should I pigeonhole myself? In helping the masses, I will help the disabled.
I needed to be nice to him and still talk to him, but I needed boundaries. No one likes to talk about boundaries because it seems like we are being mean. However, boundaries help us to stay true to ourselves, others and to God. I heard once that boundaries are like a fence. Fences are there to keep people and things out. However, most fences have a gate, and the owner controls the gate. We want people to come and go, but not everyone should be allowed to come in.
I heard it takes seven positive words to cancel out one negative word. I really have no idea why, but that is just a sad fact about life. We need to counteract that by continuously filling our mind with the good things in life. One of the first things I do in the morning is get on YouTube to motivate myself. There are a whole host of videos that fall under motivation such as sermons, motivational speakers, athletes, animal videos, comedy and more. The key is to watch what will put us in a good mood. I used to be on a kick where things always had to be Christian, but now I realize things are what we make out of them.
I like to think everybody means well, and most of them do. People often go off their own understanding and don’t open themselves up to possibility. They need to be right, or they see themselves as a failure. It really is not about us. The problem is their self-esteem is so low. Anything out of the normal to them is seen as an insult. That is when we just have to ignore.
Find a dream midwife. A midwife helps women give birth; we need someone who can help us give birth to our dreams. Jim Rohn once said we become like the five people we associate with the most. If we are around people who lift us up, then we will be encouraged to go for our dreams. Watch who you hang around with; your dreams just might depend on it.