Birthparents the center of the adoption triad
Open Arms Adoption Agency is one of the local resources to assist birthparents who are struggling with a pregnancy.
Editor’s note: This is the third in a three-part series celebrating National Adoption Awareness Month.
After discussing the adoptee and adoptive parent perspectives, this story focuses on the birthparents, which carries with it concerns about confidentiality and also a concern for the sensitive nature of what a birth parent experiences in making and carrying out an adoption plan.
Christy Beichler, a retired obstetrics nurse from Wooster, shared a story she witnessed when she was a nurse at a hospital after a birth mother had come into the hospital for a planned cesarean section.
“Unlike now, cesarean sections back then were procedures that required the mother to spend four to five days in the hospital,” Beichler said. “This mother had to make arrangements to ensure her two other young children were cared for while she was in the hospital. She also knew going into this procedure that she was going to place her baby for adoption.
“Despite that knowledge, she opted to care for the child for the four- to five-day period she was hospitalized. Usually, a mother placing a child for adoption surrendered the child immediately. This is because if a mother holds and cares for the baby, she has a much more difficult time placing the baby for adoption. This mother’s decision to bond with her baby and yet continue with placing the baby for adoption was seen by the entire hospital staff as a remarkably unselfish act.”
Jackie Smigel, the director of Open Arms Adoption, a local adoption agency, has had many opportunities to work with birthparents, as the agency she runs places not just waiting children, but also infants for adoption.
She told the story of two birth mothers who decided to place their children for adoption.
“One mother, who we will call Alexis, was 15 years old when she contacted our agency, on the very day she and her son were being released from the hospital,” Smigel said. “Her own mother and father had abandoned her, and she was living with a family friend. Alexis chose an adoptive family for her baby. She has what is called an open adoption, meaning in her case, she has text and phone contact with the adoptive family nearly every day.”
Smigel also shared the story of a birth mother this article will call Amanda.
“Amanda, a birth mother with other children, had a full-time job and was barely able to make ends meet when she found out she was pregnant,” Smigel said. “Amanda grew up in foster care, had no healthy support system. She chose an adoption plan for her son and has regular contact with the family she chose.
“Amanda is still working through this loss, even though she knows she did the right thing for not just her son, but her other children and herself as well.”
These stories highlight the bittersweet nature of a birth mother choosing an adoption plan for her child. While adoption can be a blessing to all parties in the adoption triad, the adoptive process is not without loss to both the birthparents and child. Nevertheless, adoption is a beautiful choice and can be a blessing to all involved.
There are many local resources to assist birthparents who are struggling with a pregnancy. In Wooster, the St. Mary Gabriel Project works to assist birth mothers and can be called at 330-264-8824. Additionally, the Wayne County Pregnancy Care Center — call 330-264-5880 or text 330-975-2716 — also helps birthparents with unplanned pregnancies. Finally, Open Arms Adoption Agency can be found on Facebook or at www.openarmsadopt.com. The adoption agency website and Facebook page contain profiles of prospective adoptive parents and also information on connecting with someone at the agency.