As birthdays go, it was one for the ages

  • By Mike Dewey
  • March 6, 2014
  • 387
                        
SUMMARY: Celebrating a his birthday on a frosty weekend at the beach gave Mike Dewey a chance to condsider the blessings he's been granted, including a wife who lives to beat him at Scrabble. ATLANTIC BEACH , NC – It was around nine, maybe 10 o’clock, and I’d just awakened on the day that marked the start of my 60th year on this planet, when I finally understood something that had eluded me for all those previous years. There were dolphins, just inside the last wave break – so close to the shore that you could have patted them had you wanted to – and all they were doing was swimming this way and that, having what looked to be a lot of fun. I suppose their surface-to-air gyrations had something to do with a biological imperative – with a mathematical and scientific boring explanation – but all I could see and appreciate was an exuberating celebration of life itself. The Dave Clark Five happened to be blasting from the XM radio on the balcony – “Anyway You Want It,” not a bad birthday anthem – and I sat there, transfixed, taking in the beauty and the grace and the hilarity of the aquatic display. “That’s the way it will be,” indeed. I looked around for someone with whom to share the moment but, aside from my wife, who was out beachcombing, I was alone. Given my options, I chose to simply stand and offer quiet applause as the dolphins offered what I chose to believe was their little “Happy Birthday” dance. Of course, being on the beach in late February almost guarantees you lots of solitary moments and I’m not adverse to that. Nor is my wife. Every marriage, like every snowflake or every Beatles album, is different and our cadence is one that’s equal parts union and space. Having been together since the fall of 1987, we’ve had more than enough time to throw our various spices into the savory stew that is our life together. So when I say I really wanted my wife to see that dolphin dance, a gift from the sea if ever there was one, you can trust me. By the same measure of separation, you can understand why if it was just me seeing that mid-morning miracle, then that was cool, too. We’ve been to baseball games, many of them, and sometimes I’ll be in the men’s room when ball is rocketed over the wall and my wife’ll say, “You missed it.” And I’ll say, “As long as you saw it, we both did.” SO MY BIRTHDAY had some ups and some downs; actually it was a nice encapsulation of everything my wife and I have built since our first date, the one that ended with an almost all night kiss. We were in our 30s. So there you are. On the evening of my 59th, we played Scrabble. Yep. A board game. But before you judge us too harshly, consider these facts: it was about 28 degrees outside our balcony and the restaurant I had chosen for us to share a memorable beach meal was closed and for sale. So we relied on what’s gotten us this far; that is, a sense of humor and a belief that people make plans and God laughs. You’ll love this part. After having set up the Scrabble board and getting the XM radio tuned into the Sixties on Six channel, we studied our letters … and then my wife laid down a seven-letter word. Right out of the gate. Like an Ali uppercut. BANG! So much for birthday wishes. Actually, she’s learned how to play – with no mercy – at my hand and I couldn’t help but smile. What else was I supposed to do? Get all mad because she was, all of a sudden, 90 points ahead? No. I think her word was “rotating.” Kind of nice, given my attraction to vinyl. TO ANSWER YOUR natural question, no. I didn’t allow myself to lose. True, I won only by a handful of points, but it never occurred to me not to be at my best. For one thing, my wife’s far to savvy for me to pull off that kind of tank job. For another, she’s a helluva good player and she’ll flay your skin from your bones should you allow it. By now, you’ve got a pretty good picture of our marriage. We may not know where we’re going, but at least we know who we’re going with. That line was the climax of the brilliant toast my brother offered on the occasion of our wedding reception, mere yards from the compliant Atlantic. Oct. 22, 2007. It was a Monday and the Outer Banks said something like, “Could send ‘em a Nor’easter and kick up the sand and surf … make the high around 40.” Of course, we basked in the mid-80s that wonderful afternoon/evening, with friends and family from seven states on that strand of sand, bearing witness to our consummation. I’ve never experience anything as intense as that oceanside marriage. Which is why I can’t bring myself to complain about a little chill in the air when it came time to mark this latest birthday. It’s not every Feb. 28 that I’ve awakened to the whisper of the ocean’s reassuring rhythm. True, it was cold and the gusts were bracing, but the ocean, the seafood, the music, the games, the cozy little hotel room, plus my wife’s company: all of it was beyond great. My advice? Be cool and keep your eyes on tomorrow’s horizon. You never know when the next time you see the ocean will be it. Mike Dewey can be emailed CarolinamikeD@aol.com or snail-mailed at 6211 Cardinal Drive, New Bern, NC 28650, You’re invited to hang out on his Facebook page.


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