Sometimes the hardest thing to overcome is ourselves
May 30, 2016
1063
If you read this column on a regular basis then you will know my main theme is helping people overcome lifes various difficulties. The question has been asked time and time again: why does life have to be so hard? It is something we all wrestle with; it doesnt matter who we are. If we are alive, we will wonder if life will ever get off our back. It is unavoidable that the unexpected will happen. Something we didnt see coming will sneak up on us. These things we have no control over, but what if I tell you we have more control than we give ourselves credit for. Will you believe me?
We love to play the blame game when it comes to our life, but we never take a good look at the person staring back at us in the mirror. That is the person other than God who has control over our situation. In reality who can tell us how to feel, how to think and what to do? For the most part we have control over our emotions. We have every right to not allow things to take over and get us down; yet, that is precisely what we do the majority of the time. We allow things we cant help get us down and upset us. I get it; I really do. When we are not in control, we often feel helpless and vulnerable; however, we still have a choice to make. Are we going to allow the situation get to us? Or are we going to keep the right attitude?
Our attitude makes all the difference in the world. The idea of overcoming oneself can be a complex one at best, but it can be done. The reason why its so difficult is simply due to the fact we know ourselves too well. We know what works and what doesnt, our likes and dislikes, and what is easy to change and what is so difficult for us to change. Also, if you are like me then we are too hard on ourselves. I believe the mere fact that we are too hard on ourselves entraps us and makes us a prisoner to ourselves. I love the quote by Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds.
I once thought I was a victim of circumstances: that life just happened, and I had to just roll with whatever came my way. I like many of us used to believe that I was helpless to do anything about my life. I kept on hearing about people who were determined to not let life control how they feel. I thought I would like to become one of those people, but how does somebody do it? I was talking to a friend about going through the trials of life, and I asked, Why does life have to be hard all the time? They said, So many times we are the ones who make it harder than it needs to be. Their statement stuck with me, and I soon came to the realization that in order to see changes come into my life I must first change my attitude about life. Instead of seeing life as one big constant struggle I started to see life as an opportunity.
We are blown by the winds of this world! Wherever the wind blows, that is where our attitude goes. Whenever something bad happens, we become depressed and discouraged about life altogether. I used to be like that, but I discovered I dont need to be controlled by which way the wind blows. If I just focus on the world around me as an individual, I will be a better person. When something bad happens to me, I dont need to let it get me down. I have a responsibility to maintain the appropriate attitude no matter what comes my way.
We must first realize that we are in control of what we think. I love the story of the two dogs at war with each other. An old Cherokee Indian was telling his grandson that inside everyone there are two dogs. One dog is full of hate and all that is wrong with the world. The other one is full of love and peace. The grandson looked up with eyes full of awe and wonder. He asked his grandpa, which dog wins? The grandfather looked at his grandson and said, The one you feed.
So now the question is which of the two dogs are we feeding? Better yet where is our focus? Are we focused on all that is wrong with our life: who has done us wrong, who is not doing what is right, an opportunity that went south or maybe lost money on a bad investment? Whatever we fix our mind upon, that is what is going to come out of us. The good news is we dont have to be trapped by that thinking anymore!
We can start feeding the dog of love and peace! We need to start replacing all the bad thoughts with good thoughts. No matter how bad it may seem, there is always something good somewhere in our life. Some of us dont have to look very far, but sadly for some it is down deep within. This might involve us having to ask a friend to help us rediscover the good under all the years of junk in us. In some cases this may require some professional help.
We must be watchful about what goes into our minds. The mind is like a sponge. It can remember more than we can imagine, even those things we thought we forgot. Someone asks us if we remember something, and we say we cant remember, but as soon as they began to talk about it a lightbulb comes on in our mind. Our minds didnt really forget; we just didnt recall it at the time.
My point is we must watch what we put in our minds. Instead of watching television read an inspirational book about someone who overcame all odds to make a lasting impact on the world. Something Ive been noticing about myself is I must keep an eye on what I put into my mind. I find that certain things stick with me. We might not immediately recall them, but within our subconscious mind they hang around.
Who or what groups of people can we bless today? We should be a part of something bigger than ourselves. I know I say this often, and I will say it again. The world doesnt revolve around us. If we are truly committed to overcoming ourselves than we need to help one another. This might involve taking someone to the store to pick up groceries, taking them to the doctor or taking them to visit their friend who is sick. Whatever as long as we can get the focus off of us.
We will overcome ourselves by removing our focus from off of us and onto others. We are the ones who make life harder than it needs to be.
