Top 10 reasons slow drivers drive me crazy
If you want to walk, walk. But if you are driving, then drive.How many times have you been running a few minutes late and left the house in a bit of a hurry only to get behind the absolutely slowest driver on the road?
Yes, it happens to all of us. In fact, if I were driving to my own funeral, I'd arrive on time but not to my appointment!
First of all, I am not condoning breaking the sound barrier, but isn't driving too slow a danger?
While I am not an expert on driving, I do have the luxury of traveling more than 50 miles round trip daily from my home to the Millersburg office. So I spend a great deal of time in my Beetle. While I enjoy driving, yes, I really do, sometimes it gets a little hairy when fellow drivers seem to putter along. If the speed limit is 55 mph, I expect to travel at least 50 mph. Am I asking too much?
Over the years I've gathered some telltale signs of slowpoke drivers. Hey, if David Letterman can have his Top Ten List, why can't I?
10. The Handicapped Sticker
In defense of all handicapped drivers, I have to say, many of you drive great. After all, my late grandfather could have given Kasey Kahne a good run for his money around the speedway. Grandpa Al definitely had a lead foot. But many times, folks sporting the blue handicap sticker ride the brake and forget the pedal to the right is the gas.
9. A box of tissues, umbrella, hats and other paraphernalia in the rear window ledge
How can you reach a tissue when it is on the rear window ledge? Do you pull over to grab a tissue? Are these just for backseat riders? What's up with the tissues in the backseat window? This has always puzzled me. And, why so many hats? I've seen cars with tons of hats cluttering the driver's vision. Too much stuff up there is a clear sign of trouble ahead. Yes, trouble my friend, right here on the road in front of you. No, I won't break into a song from the Music Man because it is never music to my ears for a big boat with a bunch of stuff crammed in the rear window to be rolling along in front of me.
8. The Gawker
Hey, have you seen that? Look it's a pony. Hey, look it's a white house. Hey, look it's another field of corn that rolls on and on and on.
OK. Wait. I know what you're thinking. These people are tourists—they are allowed to look. First, you need to know I love tourists. But tourists need to be careful. I am not talking about cars traveling on back country roads. I am talking about vehicles traveling on state routes where semi trucks share the highway. You know, large, heavy, powerful 18-wheelers! There is a safety factor here, not just people trying to make it to an appointment on time. Look all you want, but please do it safely and do it on a back road. There's more to see and it's much safer, too.
7. Weaving
There is a reason the Ohio Department of Transportation paints lines on the pavement. There is adequate room for vehicles of all sizes to travel within these lines. Even the large gas-guzzling boats that still hog the roadway fit. I think drivers should stay in their lane. Enough said.
6. So slow, going backwards
In Amish Country, I think some motor vehicles are traveling so slow, a horse and buggy could pass the car. Yes, I seriously do. It is my firm belief that cars, trucks, whatever you drive are just that—meant to be driven. Yes, I am one of "those" women. I get in and drive. My mechanic likes me. The accelerator is for speed and the brake is for stopping. That's what I need to know—so I drive. Many times it feels like I'm approaching a vehicle and they are literally moving backwards because they are going so slow. I look down at my speedometer and actually, I'm not even speeding—well not much.
5. Erratic speed
What's worse than going too slow? Going slow, fast, slow, fast. Make up your mind! This drives me crazy. Some may say that's a short drive, but I say that inconsistency is not only bad for your gas tank but tells me you just don't know what you're doing. Make up your mind and drive.
4. Bumper stickers and tons of them
I'm all about free expression but does your family car need to be a moving billboard? Put a few stickers up, if you must, but don't pepper your vehicle with them. I don't care and most people don't either. I don't want to be able to read them all. If I have the time, then you are traveling too slowly!
3. Cell phone talkers
Some of you may put this as number one but I didn't. I talk on my cell phone while driving but I use an earpiece. Since I drive a stick shift, holding a phone, steering and shifting is just too much. I look at using the cell phone as just another distraction in the car, such as having a spirited conversation, eating, changing stations on the radio, etc. If you're going to use a cell phone, go to RadioShack and get an earpiece.
2. Turn signal on and off, going to nowhere
Hey, where are you going? Left? Right? Left? Who knows? The driver doesn't. This is a big problem for me. I also believe it can get drivers very upset and lead to accidents. While I am not speaking from experience on the accident part, I have felt my blood pressure start to rise. Just when I think the slowpoke in front of me is going to turn, he changes his mind. It's like he's toying with me. Yep, that's frustrating.
And the number one thing that literally drives me crazy about slow drivers is: slowing down for every bump in the road.
You are driving machines—steel machines. These automobiles can kill people. You don't need to brake for every little bump, dip or crack in the pavement. How many times have you been behind a huge pick up-truck, you know the kind with the dual tires on the back, and it slows down for every little bump in the road? Man, I tell you if that big monster machine can't handle a little dip in the road, we've got problems. I'm not saying gas it over the bumps, but there's no need to come to a literal stop to cross over a pothole.
So there you have it my top 10 list for slowpoke drivers. I'd write more but I've really got to go and hit the road before I'm running late for a very important appointment.