What's in a name? Everything if it fits
This is the second in a three-part series of blogs covering the very best in nicknames of the NFL - according to me. For as long as I can remember, nicknames have been a vital part of sports. Ever since I heard the name Dizzy Dean, nicknames have been a high priority for me, which is kind of weird since I never, ever had a nickname to call my own. You'd think being left-handed, at least I could have been deemed Lefty, but no, I was never so fortunate.
So, in lieu of that misfortune, I must revel in the glory of the sporting world's finest nicknames, and that has to be enough. I chose the NFL because we are the heart of the NFL season, so it seemed appropriate.
We continue with Nicknames, Part II, a look at my favorite individual nicknames.
The problem with nicknames these days is that they are so doggone unimaginative. V-Jax, a moniker for Vincent Jackson of San Diego, is simply his name shortened down, K-Fed style. Big snack, aka Casey Hampton; Big Ben, Ben Roethlisberger; and other large types are easy marks for their size. Terrell Owens' T.O. is incredibly uninspired, and then you've got guys like Peezy, aka Joey Porter, who don't have nicknames bestowed upon them, so they simply create their own to look cool.
Therefore, for most of these, I have to go old school and delve deep into the NFL alumni to come up with some fresh names, as well as some pretty inventive ones.
7. Broadway Joe — Joe Namath. To many, the name elicits memories of the greatest Super Bowl prediction of all time. Personally, I can't stand the guy, and I think he is perhaps the single most overrated quarterback in the history of the NFL. But hey, that's just me. Regardless, Broadway Joe supremely describes the playboy's nature in the NFL, and his affinity to gravitate toward the glitz and glamour.
6. Concrete Charlie — If you want to talk old-school football, Chuck Bednarik is your guy. A classic piece of hammerhead football persona, Bednarik, who played on both offense and defense in his 13-year career with the Philadelphia Eagles, would smash an opponent in the mouth or set his house on fire before he would say hello. You may remember him as the guy who cold-cocked Frank Gifford coming across the middle, making the well-liked tight end look like a sheet as he instantly lay motionless on the ground, knocked out cold. Bednarik never missed a game, hence the name, and the tough-as-concrete guy has plenty of battle scars today to prove his ill-tempered style of play, including a pinky finger that juts out at a Salvador Dali-like 90-degree angle.
5. Juice — This one is pretty straight forward, but O.J. Simpson could turn on the juice at any given moment and take over an NFL game. Granted, his post-NFL career began with a bang as he moved into acting, but later events certainly derailed him. A double homicide led to one of the all-time greatest trials ever (he was acquitted), but he later found his way into the pen anyway, after getting involved in an armed robbery in which he tried to take back much of the relics he had earned as a player. But for his playing days, O.J. was one of the most revered players around, and Juice became a name synonymous with the electrical Bills running back.
4. Sweetness — This spot-on nickname pretty much summed up everything you needed to know about Walter Payton. On the field, his style was so super-smooth that Sweetness was about all anyone could say about him as he glided in, around and over defenders. His work ethic alone was legendary. But off the field, he was simply one of the most beloved football players the NFL has ever known. A friend to everyone who met him, Payton epitomized the very word that most people dubbed him. One of the greatest ever, if not the greatest, I still harbor ill feelings toward two other famous nicknames, Iron Mike Ditka and William The Refrigerator Perry. Those two robbed Payton of scoring what should have been his lone Super Bowl touchdown in Super Bowl XX, when, in a blowout, Coach Ditka decided to ill-advisedly give the ball to the lumbering defensive back-turned fullback at the 1-yard line. What a shame. You shouldn't reward 15-minutes of fame, you should honor the guy who became the face of your franchise, and the NFL.
3. The Galloping Ghost — Red Grange. Out of all of the incredible feats he performed at both the University of Illinois and later in the NFL with the Chicago Bears, perhaps none were more impressive than him being acknowledged as the man who almost single-handedly brought legitimacy to the NFL eight decades ago. The man could run like the wind, could pass with the accuracy of the great quarterbacks and was as elusive on the field as was Henry Kissinger in real life. The nickname is one that is way too classy to come up today. Today's players are all about self-promotion and being too cool. This one was from writers who could do little to describe his unfathomable skills. That is a nickname born of respect and awe.
2. Billy White Shoes Johnson — OK, we are now in the rare air of nicknames that are so beloved they can't even stand alone. To simply say White Shoes does not do justice to one of the all-time greatest kick returners ever to grace the field. This guy's movements were an art form, he once ran out of his shoes on a play, and every time he touched the ball, you expected something incredible to happen. One return on a kick-off lasted about one full minute, and he ran nearly 250-yards before scoring as he dashed around the field, eluding would-be tacklers. The white shoes made Johnson a legitimate contender for best nickname ever, but what may have been his biggest calling card was his famous end zone dance, the Funky Chicken, based on a song by Rufus Thomas.
1. Slingin' Sammy Baugh — Go ahead, just say it... Slingin' Sammy Baugh. You can't say it without having fun. This one, like the aforementioned Johnson, is one where you can't say his name without adding the nickname with it. Nobody ever talks about Sammy Baugh. They only speak of Slingin' Sammy Baugh. During his time with the Redskins and Bears in the 1930's and 1940's, Baugh set almost every QB record known to mankind, and dominated the league with his incredible passing wizardry. In a day when running was the norm, he brought passing into the limelight. His only problem was, much like Brett Favre of today, he thought he could throw a ball through the eye of a needle to a moving target 40 yards away while falling down. There wasn't a pass he didn't think he could make. Thus, Slingin' Sammy Baugh is as perfect as can be for a nickname that tops my all-time best NFL nickname greats.
Other mentionables: Bird Legs - Joe Montana; The Bus - Jerome Bettis; Iron Head - Craig Heyward; Mad Stork - Ted Hendricks; Snake - Ken Stabler