"Iron Man 2"
Iron Man II - PG-13DM: Hey, my kids wanted to go see a movie recently, so we headed up north to our local multiplex theater and checked out a little Indie flick called Iron Man II. I doubt any of you have ever heard of this movie, and I'm not sure than many of you were fortunate enough to see the first one either. Apparently it leads right into the second one.
Anyway, there's this really rich guy named Tony Stark, played by Robert Downey Jr., another name I'm sure most of middle America is not familiar with. Stark invented this fake heart that is made up of particles he extracted directly out of the sun, or something like that, and it keeps him alive. Oh yeah, he also has a really sexy assistant, whom he makes the director of his uber-company, and then hires some even sexier woman as his new secretary, only she's some kind of top-flight super spy. There's a bad guy with whips made of lightning bolts, and some other rich guy who wants to be even richer than Tony Stark. Oh yeah, that Snakes On a Plane guy makes an appearance.
Obviously, I am writing this with great tongue-in-cheek sarcasm, since most of you have now seen Iron Man II four times, have purchased the Blu-Ray DVD, own an Iron Man wrist watch, collected all six Burger King collector's edition glasses, memorized the scene where Downey Jr. and Don Cheadle battle an army of Iron Man clones the approximate population of Rhode Island, invested in Iron Man III and purchased the little known yet highly unheralded Iron Man II secret decoder ring.
The plot is right there in the trailer. The action and witty repartee is what you want to see, and it's all there, along with Mickey Rourke spewing and chewing scenery with gusto, and all in some Russian twang. I've heard it's not as good as the first one, and even better than its predecessor, but any way you slice it, it is one gigantic piece of eye candy for the movie-goer's soul, and that's what you're paying for in this epic, big-budget summer blockbuster.
My big question is, rather than reading this silly description of the movie, if you are one of the 31 people in the U.S. who haven't seen this yet, I'd suggest going to your local moving picture theater and doing so before it disappears from the silver screen forever in about seven months after it rakes in 84 bajillion dollars, all without the benefit of the dreaded 3-D!
DT: Now how can anyone argue with that?
Rating: DM: 79, DT: 72