My name is Jen and I'm a Mosquito Magnet
Has anyone ever told you that the reason you get so many bug bites is that you're so sweet? I've been hearing that my whole life and I'm starting to wonder if there's maybe some truth to it. This past weekend, I was apparently a buffet for no less than twenty mosquitoes. All of the bites happened on my ankles and feet, with the exception of one on my middle finger. Of course, I didn't feel a single thing while I was being feasted upon, but nonetheless, I was used as a pincushion and the results made for a very uncomfortable few days.I have an idea that the bites may have occurred on Friday night, around 9 o'clock, while I was out for dinner at a neighborhood restaurant with my husband, my sister and brother-in-law, and some friends. It was a beautiful evening, so we opted to dine on the patio which overlooks some railroad tracks and lots of trees. My guess is that the tiny culprits live somewhere in the wooded area surrounding the patio. The picnic table we sat on must have been built for giants, as my feet didn't even come close to touching the ground when I sat down. Because of this, my un-stockinged feet were left to dangle in the air like two sides of beef, undoubtedly tempting every mosquito in town. I am also led to believe that due to the high nature of the table (or the short nature of me), blood circulation was cut off substantially to my lower extremities, thus making it less likely for me to feel the miniscule puncture wounds as they were happening.
The next morning when my husband saw my feet, he told me it looked as though I had an allergic reaction to something. I almost wish he wouldn't have even noticed because as soon as attention was drawn to them, I couldn't stop thinking about how badly I wanted to scratch each and every swollen, red bump. After about an hour of sheer torture, I gave in and scratched and scratched until it looked like I was attacked by a weed-whacker. Then, I resorted to an old family remedy: the good old cross technique.
(When I was little, I remember my dad, who is also a mosquito magnet, showed me how to use my thumbnail to press a cross pattern into my mosquito bites and it seemed to dull the itch, at least temporarily. I realize that all this method really does is cause pain at the site of the bite, but it is sometimes a nice distraction from the itching. This summer, in fact, my youngest nephew Brady, who must also be "sweet" like his Aunt Jen, was covered in mosquito bites and I taught him the cross technique to prevent him from scratching the bites open. It was pretty funny when he first asked his mom if she would please "cross him?" She had no idea what he was talking about until I explained.)
Anyway, I knew that I couldn't keep itching and scratching and crossing all weekend long, so I broke down and pulled out a tube of CortAid in hopes of getting some relief. The ointment took about ten minutes to set in, but eventually I didn't itch nearly as bad as I had been and I was finally able to let the bites heal. I should mention that I have kept the tube of CortAid by my side since that moment and have used it many, many times until today, when I noticed that the bumps no longer itch, the swelling has gone down and I am now left with several temporary red dots all over my feet to remind me of just how sweet I am.
Eventually, I spoke to all of the people I had gone to dinner with Friday and only one person reported having any mosquito bites - and she only had one. This has happened countless times throughout my life; I get eaten alive by mosquitoes while everyone else walks away with maybe a bite or two. I decided to do some amateur Internet research and I found out that yes, some people are more desirable to mosquitoes than others. Scientists have not yet determined what makes some of us so much more tasty, but mosquitoes can sense food up to 50-yards away and they are apparently more attracted to certain hormones and skin secretions such as cholesterol.
According to the reports I read, when cholesterol is metabolized out of the body, it secretes through the skin and mosquitoes can sense that. My dad and I have both had our cholesterol tested at various points in our lives and we both have remarkably good levels, which has been somewhat surprising to us based on our typically high-cholesterol diets. Some people metabolize that cholesterol faster and more thoroughly than others, which I believe we do, and those people are more susceptible to mosquito bites, which we both are.
I am always excited for the arrival of fall for many reasons; college football, Thanksgiving, changing leaves, comfort foods, apple cider and the return of good TV shows have always made the list, but I think I'm going to add the lack of mosquitoes to the very top.