My date with Scrooge
Every week I examine myself. I’m so imperfect, yet God still loves me. I remind myself of this daily. I strive, I fail, and sometimes I succeed. This is my life - my beautiful life that God has given me. There are days I forget to pick up my Bible. I meander through the days of the week, doing my own thing on a schedule I’ve made, forgetting to give it to the only One who can help me through.
I don’t know how God does it with all of our forceful, independent ways.
Christmas time either brings out the best or the ugliest in people. Most people I meet are lovely. I have my friends, my family – and also random acquaintances that I pass by never to see again. God puts these people in our lives for reasons unknown to us. We brush faintly in our daily workings, leaving our particles to float, settle, mingle, and move on.
I want to be a good person. When I look in the mirror I want to see someone that could have dinner with Jesus if he knocked on her door. I try.
Sometimes, though, I only see ugliness when I look out my window. I see arguments, bickering, fighting, and pettiness. I see things being done that should never be a thought in someone’s mind. I see manipulation and twisting of things that should be easily accomplished.
My view of the world is this: we’re all on this ride anyway so let’s get along. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always happen that way. When I’m happy happy, joy joy, someone else is plotting my demise. Or configuring a way to twist things, reword words, and simply be Grinchy. I definitely used Grinchy there, didn’t I?
I ask my kids if I ever seem mean to them. They laugh at me and tell me I’m a big pushover – which usually makes me smile. I ask the hubby if I’m firm and solid when I need to be. He tells me I’ve come a long way, but that I need even more firmness, more fire. I’m working on that.
In all honesty, though, I don’t want to be full of fire and firmness. My naïve view of this world simply wants everyone to say what they mean and do what they say. I don’t want a million and one versions of the same deal presented to me. I don’t want to be made into a fool and have my words twisted.
I don’t know how Tiny Tim squirmed his way into Scrooge’s heart. Maybe it was his innocence and lack of guile that made Ebenezer Scrooge come round and see his scroogy ways. I’m not innocent anymore, and I might have a little guile – but I still believe in the inherent goodness of people. Even when I’m shown differently time and time again from places that it should never come from.
All I want this Christmas is to worm my way into the hearts of the Scrooge’s in my life and make them see brightness. A brightness so bold and warm that the narrow way they’ve been living will fall away. There goes my naïveté again, but I will take that any day because in the end, it’s warmer than the cloak of darkness that shrouds so many.
Lord, my prayer is to be a bright beacon in this weary world. We need your refreshing Spirit to descend upon us and bring us up out of the mire. Remind us of your Son, who is the reason for this season. Give me a smile when I don’t have any, and let them not see my hesitation but my brightness.