Remind me
If you've followed my blogs for any length of time at all, you'll know two things:
a) In this household, it's not all candy and flowers.
b) We do love and celebrate Valentine's Day.
I won't beat you over the head with it this year. I won't tell you how George is not a flower guy, or how we chuckle at all the jewelry commercials telling him, if he's any kind of man, he'll scoot on out to Jared to make my dreams come true. I won't tell you how the pressure put on us to buy, buy, buy so our loves will feel, feel, feel fulfilled makes me sick. It's not love – its pressured performance, and I'm done buying into it. You'll never hear me say, and believe me I've heard it said, "He better get me those things if he knows what's good for him!"
I don't want something just because a day of the month says my husband "has" to get it for me. I want his time and his presence 365 days of the year – not a bouquet of roses because he "has" to.
More on my mind this February is the state of marriages, mine included. I will say it right now that I have not been a blessing to live with lately. I've been mean, angry, and downright argumentative. I wouldn't blame George one bit if he went to see a movie by himself every night just to get away from me. I'm sure we all have those moments in marriage – you know the ones. It's where everything they say annoys you, and if they pick their teeth one more time you're going to scream.
George is not an angel – don't get me wrong. He's been the one trying, though, to get through this very fun phase of mine. I sometimes doubt the wisdom I show when writing about the interior goings on of the Herrera household, but then I remember if I'm not real, then who else will be? I don't know the reason I'm so not fun to live right now, but George is making me sit down and talk it out with him.
When I want to sit in a corner and browse the Internet to oblivion, he makes me put it down and look him in the eye and converse. Sometimes I want to throw the computer at him, but deep down, I know he's drawing me to him – not away from him. If he didn't care, he'd bury himself in the TV and not talk to me at all.
I think too many of us live by rote. There's your word of the morning.
Rote:
1. A memorizing process using routine or repetition, often without full attention or comprehension: learn by rote.
2. Mechanical routine.
We get up, go about our day, kiss each other in the evening, watch TV, and fall asleep. Do we know what we're doing? Yes, we're living our lives. Are we making it special? Are we going out just because we're supposed to buy cards with pretty love words because we can't think of how to say them in person?
I think we are. It's time we woke up and talk to this person we say we love. We need to tell them we love them. We need to take time to get away with this person, speak to this person – not just pass them in the hallway and bury ourselves in whatever activity the day brings. We need to come out of the hearts and candy-induced coma and remind each other why we fell in love in the first place.
These lines from the song "Remind Me" by Brad Paisley & Carrie Underwood say it all:
"Oh, so on fire so in love
That look in your eyes that I miss so much
Remind me, baby, remind me.
I wanna feel that way
Yeah, I wanna hold you close
Oh, if you still love me
Don't just assume I know."