Testing, testing... Is this blonde on?
I admit, I'm a grape tester. I'm one to walk right up to the bag of grapes, take one, eat it, and decide if I want to buy the whole bag. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I wouldn't take a bit out of an apple, just the grapes… strawberries… blueberries… and sometimes when they cut melon up and put it in little cups!
In a recent lunch room debate, the room was literally split right down the middle as to whether "grape testing" was OK and where the line had to be drawn as to what could actually be tested in the grocery store. This is when I started to freely admit everything else I gladly test before I decide to buy… after all, I have to know whether I REALLY want it or not.
What I didn't expect resulting from this conversation was my increased image as the office blonde, further proving why I still live with my parents, try to "bake" hot dogs, and still have trouble remembering to take the metal spoon out of the microwave before I turn it on (I'm working on it).
One of the things I almost always do, but wouldn't necessarily call testing, is open my 20-ounce bottle of pop and quench my thirst while browsing through the aisles of my favorite megastore, because shopping at those megastores can certainly be dehydrating. If I'm going to buy it in the end, it's OK for me to drink it now… right? I've also been known to do this with boxes of Cheez-Its and animal crackers, as if I'm a 4 year old who is on the verge of throwing a massive temper tantrum unless I can enjoy my little snack while waiting (im)patiently behind the person who clearly has more than 20 items in the express lane. Without my snack to distract me, I would seriously freak out.
The funny part is, when I place my half eaten box of crackers and an empty 20-ounce bottle on the conveyor belt, sometimes while I'm still chewing and sporting that awesome chipmunk cheeks look, the cashier won't bat an eye. I'm absolutely serious! They just ring it up as if it's normal protocol. I mean, at least I'm being honest in my grocery shopping consumption habits! Oh yeah, and at least I don't scan it myself as if I'm saying, "You can only have the Cheez-Its if you pry them from my dead, lifeless fingers."
But perhaps the biggest thing I see other people testing is cosmetics, and no, it's not just because that's my aisle of choice inside the megamart. Now, this brought mixed reactions from my coworkers, even more so than the Cheez-It eating. More than likely, it's just because I freely admitted to testing lip gloss. What's so wrong with making sure I have the right shade?
To my knowledge, women test nail polish, liquid foundation, perfumes and lotions without thinking twice. I just take it a step farther and believe that hey, if it doesn't have a seal on it, that's not MY fault! No protective seal? Up for grabs! Except for the 20-ounce pop, which does in fact, have a tamper-evident seal, but I almost ALWAYS drink the pop with the intention of buying it in the end. (I'm kidding. I do always buy the pop. I was just making sure you were paying attention).
My story today begins in the cosmetics aisle. I was sitting, cross-legged, in between the eye shadows, foundation and lipsticks. There were several options already strewn across the floor, when I noticed a particular brand of lip gloss in a variety of fun colors and scents. No seal. I opened a few different colors, smelled the fruity scents, and decided… what could it hurt if I dabbed a little on my finger and tried it out? It's not like I was outwardly rubbing the tube right up against my lips. I just didn't want the bright red to transfer to my lips in some crazy way!
After a couple different tries, I noticed out of the corner of my eye, a teenage girl… staring at me. Yes, staring. She wasn't peering at me from behind a rack or sneaking sideways glances while browsing nail polishes. She was outright staring at me – deer in the headlights style. I had two lip glosses in my hands, sticky fingers covered in strawberry and melon flavored goo, and an array of products surrounding my feet. And I'm 25 years old. Seriously, why am I always putting myself in these positions?
So I nervously laughed and said the only thing that was on my mind at the time. "I think I like the strawberry, not the melon."
To my relief, she responded, "Totally cute. But, like, why are cosmetics soooooo expensive?" I love the emphasis on the 'so' and decided, yes, the strawberry was what I was going with as I excitedly responded, "Omigosh! I know!"
See? I wasn't so crazy after all. She was just admiring my new lip color!
I put the melon back (all the way in the back, so as many people as possible would get to try a fresh lip gloss, just like me) and off I went to find something else to sample.
Maybe it's because I'm not a germ-phobe, or maybe it's because I'm kind of a ditzy blonde, but I think testing is a perfectly acceptable practice in any and all settings. You can test electronics, video games, clothing, hats, boxes of food, sunglasses, and all those amazing samples at Sam's Club on Saturday (because really, who tries all of those with the actual intention of buying the product? No one. It's not called "taste-buying" anyway).
I guess though, I just believe in being honest. I know not everyone is, but I still try to think that most people are good natured and for real. I try to test in the most ethical way possible. I don't want that company losing money, so I'm not going to waste their product. If I can't test it, I usually just won't buy it.
But for every one out there that is thoroughly grossed out by my confession, I do apologize for making you uncomfortable. I don't test things with the intention of making them unusable… I just want to make sure what I buy is what I really want. I would never buy jeans without trying them on first, so why can't this hold true for my grapes? Just double check to make sure the seal hasn't been broken before you buy… not every one is as considerate.