Ripley Church of Christ offers chance for a dynamic marriage

  • By Shelly Webb
  • June 13, 2011
  • 327
                        
Everyday it seems more and more research points to the obvious. Staying married takes some effort. The divorce rate in America still stands at approximately 50 percent with those ages 20-24 representing the largest age group to divorce. But why do couples divorce? The reasons can vary from infidelity to money issues to in-law problems, but believe it or not more and more couples are citing boredom as the reason they decide to split. Senior pastor Tom Benter, of Ripley Church of Christ, understands that marriage, like any other commitment, requires some work. Benter’s church offers a great program, Dynamic Marriage, to give couples a proven way to enhance their relationship. “Dynamic Marriage is an eight-week course that’s about transformation, not just information,” Benter explained. “It is a powerful, marriage enrichment course that creates real and lasting change. Unlike many other marriage classes, its distinctive format encourages couples to break through barriers to intimacy, not just talk about them.” According to Benter, the Dynamic Marriage course integrates four powerful building blocks to transform a marriage. Through a unique blend of study, application, interaction and accountability, the course guides couples through a series of eight learning modules, each building on the lessons learned in the previous unit. “The class is built on a study by Dr. Williard E. Harley Jr. entitled, His Needs, Her Needs,” Benter said. “Dr. Harley helps couples understand why their best intentions are not enough to prevent marital incompatibility. Couples must do more than want to meet each other’s needs--they must actually meet them.” Benter said Dynamic Marriage is exactly what couples need that feel like their marriage is in a rut—not bad, but not all that great either. “Would you like to recapture that honeymoon feeling you once enjoyed?” Benter asked. “Is your marriage failing but no one knows about it yet? Would you like to repair it before it’s too late? Dynamic Marriage is a chance to join couples in great shape and also in stagnant relationships that want to improve - no matter the current situation.” Benter believes that many times ignorance often contributes to a couple’s failure to care for each other, stating that “men tend to try and meet needs that they value and women do the same. “But their needs are often very different and couples waste effort trying to meet the wrong needs,” he added. “Dynamic Marriage addresses this concept. Each class is limited to 12 couples at a time. This allows us to create intimacy within the structure of the class and build an ongoing support group.” Even though it’s not always easy and can feel awkward at times, taking a course to strengthen your marriage is a great investment. Benter thinks that God’s plan is for men and women to live in a positive and happy relationship. However, we need to learn how to make this happen. “Life is too short and marriage too important to waste our years in an unhappy relationship,” he said. “That was never God’s design. His intent was for us to find mutual support and encouragement in a very special, unique relationship between a man and woman. However, there are a lot of challenges today to having a successful, happy marriage. Marriage is tough. It takes work and effort. But the rewards of an awesome relationship are worth it. Likewise, Dynamic Marriage can be tough. It takes effort to complete. But the couples who have finished the course will testify, it’s worth it!” Benter said that confidentiality is a key to the class and the camaraderie and support developed through the activities helps couples to understand the issues they may be facing are not unique. Dynamic Marriage is offered at least once per year and the next course is being planned for September 2011. Anyone interested can use the next couple months to start thinking about it, do some research and then sign up when the time comes. The course is facilitated by Benter and his wife, Theresa. The two have been married for 27 years and were trained by Family Dynamic Institute. The Benters have held six courses with more than 60 couples in two different churches in Ohio and Indiana. “We’ve seen couples with good marriages become great marriages,” Benter shared. “We’ve seen couples with troubled marriages become great marriages as well. We’ve also had some marriages that go on to additional intervention and counseling. Through the years, we’ve had some couples who have dropped the class midway through. As I mentioned before, marriage is tough and so is the course. But if you want to get to ‘great’ you have to get through the tough issues and that can be challenging for some people. But I guarantee, it’s much better to live in a home where husband and wife are loving, supporting, encouraging, and honoring each other than a house where they essentially are just existing, afraid of the stigma of divorce so they choose to put up with each other.” Dynamic Marriage changed the Benters life and can make the same impact in any marriage. “It’s also become the root of our relationship,” Benter said. “We were one of those couples who were existing. We weren’t necessarily happy with each other. Through Dynamic Marriage we have renewed the love that brought us together in the first place and we’ve learned principles that allow us to address the various issues that arise in marriage. We’ve learned not to take each other for granted. We’ve learned that men and women are definitely different and the challenge of marriage is to meet each other’s most important emotional needs first. It means putting your own needs behind those of your mate. It can be done when you have the trust that your mate is doing the same. And it’s awesome!” For additional information, visit the Ripley Church of Christ website at http://www.ripleycoc.com or visit Family Dynamics Institute at http://www.familydynamics.net.


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