Your way not the only way
- Kyle Snyder: Live on Purpose
- May 5, 2021
- 743
“Self-centered people have only one topic to talk about ... themselves.” —Stef Harder.
I love the very first line of the book, “The Purpose Driven Life.”
“It’s not about you.” I love it because it sets the tone for the whole book, about finding our purpose in life in order to better serve God.
I have heard people say all kinds of negative things about the book, but for our purpose I am going to just stick with the opening line. We were not put on this Earth to just have our needs met, but to live for God and to meet the needs of others. Too many of us are too focused on ourselves to think about others. In fact, if everyone on Earth died, leaving one person left, depending on who they are, he or she may not even notice everyone else is gone.
I can’t remember exactly what the late Christian counselor Dr. Larry Craab said, but it had to do with people being self-absorbed is one of the greatest problems with people today. People seem to be all about themselves now, and if we get in the way, then we are the bad guys. I know people who act like it is wrong for me to disagree with them. They have to be right about everything. I once told someone we have to agree to disagree. To that they answered, “Where is that in the Bible?”
I am all for standing up for ourselves and telling in a nice way if they don’t have all of the facts, but the problem is when we demand people see things our way. I like people to see things my way, but it is wrong of me to demand my own way.
Being self-absorbed will only lead to problems with people around us. They have more to talk about than just us. Believe it or not, I was the most self-absorbed person at one time. I was always talking about myself, and everything had to be what I wanted. It was so bad I would interrupt two people who were talking just to talk about me. My mother told me I needed to start asking people about themselves. I began doing that, and I found more people liked talking to me after I began to be more focused on others than myself.
The old saying “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care” is so true. Show people how much you care about them, and they will open up to you. It’s OK to talk about yourself, but people really want to know you care about them. Relationships go two ways, not just one way.
Ask people about their life, job, family or point of view on whatever. Every time we ask people about themselves, it is a learning opportunity to find out something interesting about someone else. How do we feel when we receive a birthday card in the mail from a friend? We feel great. Send one to a friend. They will love you for taking time out to think about them.