From outhouse to in-house, a story
- Laura Moore: Housebroken
- June 3, 2025
- 562
Bathrooms are to houses what underwear is to humans. Those rooms must always be clean in case of an unexpected event or accident. Many years ago houses did not have inside bathrooms. They were in a separate little building, usually right outside the back door. That was inconvenient, to put it mildly.
It took a long time for humans to understand bathrooms belonged inside their houses. But once one house had an inside bathroom, every house wanted one. Once inside, bathrooms began to develop into real “bath” rooms. That was when tubs were added so bathing could actually happen. Sinks soon followed for hand washing.
Bathrooms were, by design, rather small but crammed with fixtures, each with running water. This created a humid, moist atmosphere, which encouraged the growth of all sorts of unhealthy things like mildew and mold. So bathrooms had to be kept clean at all times.
Wouldn’t it be lovely if all bathrooms could look like the ones shown in magazines — spotlessly clean with towels hanging neatly on their rods. The tile and fixtures are bright and shiny, unmarred by soap scum. The usual flotsam and jetsam of shampoo bottles, hairspray containers, blow dryers, et cetera, are invisible. And in those magazine pictures, the toilet seat is always demurely down.
My bathrooms could look like that if they weren’t so popular, attracting so much use. Though everyone loves the bathrooms and visits often, few give any thought to leaving them neat and tidy.
Therefore, bathrooms need the protection of strong, enforceable rules. To start, no person over age 5 should be allowed bathroom privileges without bathroom responsibilities. In other words, if you use it, you leave it clean and tidy. Penalties for bathroom abuse and neglect must be harsh. Those who drop damp towels on the floor and leave them there will automatically lose their towel rights and be reduced to drying off with toilet tissue for a week. Anyone who leaves the toilet seat up must clean that potty every day for a month.
We’ll see how these rules go; it’s worth a try!
Laura Moore can be emailed at lehmoore1@gmail.com.