I will continue to live as I was raised
- col-lee-elliot-aging-graciously
- January 3, 2024
- 751
I just lost 20 pounds today. Seems like it might be impossible, but I did it, and I’m going to try very hard not to gain it back. Actually, what I lost was 20 pounds of unhappiness and dissatisfaction, with little bits of joy thrown in for good measure.
I have kept a daily journal for the last 60 years. I can tell you when the first and last frosts and first snow were each year, all major world events, and trends and the deaths of the rich, poor and famous. My bins, up until I moved to the computer five years ago, were filled to overflowing with every documented happening and every thought, petty or profound, in my life.
Originally, I had thought holding on to all those events might one day provide me with grist for a novel, or at least a few good essays. Fast forward to me realizing I need to execute a huge purge in my home so I do not send my heirs over the edge while cleaning it out.
Paper came to mind first as I started this task. Who has more paper than a writer? There are file cabinets jammed to overflowing with hard copies of my published work and idea files for future ventures, shelves filled with binders of my clips, and drawers filled with magazines containing my articles.
It is all my life’s work taking up so much room, and I have clung to it fiercely. No one is going to want all that when I am no longer here. Who wants to sit and read through hundreds of feature stories, short stories or poems, scripts or songs, or, well, you get the picture? And who has the room to store it anyway?
I am a saver, keeping boxes of loving cards, tax returns, canceled checks, and huge amounts of mementos from plays, travels, family and friends. My purchases and daily planner are carefully documented and filed. Someone in my family nicknamed me the “anal organizer,” not very flattering, but until now it has felt good.
So you can see how hard it was to bring those huge plastic bags into my office and begin filling them. Of course, in the process, I had to read some of the old journals. I found no bestseller there.
What I did find was a whole lot of hurt — losses of my parents, siblings, children, friends and pets; disagreements won and lost; and disappointments in people I had thought were friends, all of it tempered by a spattering of great moments of joy or accomplishment.
I thought about my children reading my innermost thoughts, finding parts of me they never knew, or simply saying, “I’m not going to sit down and read all this.” The decision was made. The bags are full and ready for shredding.
As the new year approaches, I have made firm resolutions. I will continue to live as I was raised, trying to be kind, thoughtful, polite and considerate. My readings pointed out very clearly I need to remove myself from anyone who thinks it is funny or fun to be rude or to deliberately hurt others. As long as I am not hurting anyone, I will continue to speak my mind when I see something I feel is wrong.
As I type my way into 2025, I will continue to share my advocacy for seniors, their thoughts and feelings. May each and every one of you grab the new year, hug it to your heart and revel in happiness for the rest of your lives.