Opposing celebrations: love and sacrifice
- col-lee-elliot-aging-graciously
- February 3, 2024
- 419
I am fascinated by the fact Ash Wednesday and Valentine’s Day are both occurring Feb. 14 this year. In my mind two such opposite celebrations happening at the same time should create havoc in the minds of everyone. On the one hand, we have 24 hours of indulgence involving candy, flowers, dinners, great declarations of love, engagements and sometimes marriages, all symbolized by hearts.
On the other hand, a day has been set aside to remind us of our need for sacrifice, penitence, sorrow and solemnity. A cross of ashes is etched on foreheads to remind us we are “ashes to ashes and dust to dust,” where we came from and where we will end up.
I have brought this up in conversation a number of times recently and have found little interest in the topic. Of course, these were mostly people over 50, so I can’t rely just on their choices, but there was strong agreement Valentine’s Day is strictly a Hallmark card holiday, in comparison to Ash Wednesday, which is an established religious celebration.
Both days were important in my upbringing. Elementary schools encouraged us to bare our hearts in the specially prepared Valentine boxes where you were supposed to (but didn’t always) deposit a card for each member of the class. We had special heart-shaped cookies, and if someone received a particularly fancy card, it was fodder for conversation for an entire week. We spent hours trying to find the secret message in a card from a current crush. We, and the schools, passed the traditions on to our children.
Ash Wednesday carried its own weight. Some students were excused from school to go to their churches to receive the symbolic ashes they wore throughout the day, providing plenty of reason for poking fun.
In our home it was a day to remind us there were 40 days until Easter. We were to choose something to sacrifice for the duration, and we had darned well better not cheat. This usually involved candy for the children and smoking, drinking or some other questionable habit for adults. I believe under the watchful eye of the adults, the children may have done the better job of accomplishing their goals.
There are many explanations for the origins of these two totally dissimilar days. Historical legends range from pagan to Christian, with a little imagination thrown in. Several interesting facts came to light. For example, Valentine’s Day may have its origins in a pagan fertility festival called Lupercalia, during which Romans sacrificed animals and smacked women with their hides, a practice that was believed to encourage fertility.
Fasting during Lent has a whole bundle of different rules in different countries and religions. They range from one meal a day with no meat, to no meat on Fridays, to fish on Fridays and so on.
Whatever the choices, the strange day is worth pondering. Where do our values lie? It seems they both are connected with love. I leave it to you to figure out. I don’t expect any miracles for Valentine’s Day, and I think my sacrifice for Lent will try to be to take some of the color out of my language when I am angry. Whatever your choices, I wish you Happy Valentine’s Day and Solemn Ash Wednesday. It’s all very good for the heart.