The uncluttering of Missy
- Melissa Herrera: Not Waiting for Friday
- September 4, 2018
- 1374
I want to clear my house of every knickknack that rests in silent obscurity, every ratty plastic cup we got at a concert or game as well as the small container of twisty ties I keep in the bread drawer. I don’t need them, and having them doesn’t make my life any better.
Meandering through any thrift store, I surmise there are so many objects in the world, and we are drowning in them: tin stars and metal objects, half-used candles that burn bitter toward the end of the wick, and T-shirts with random last names emblazoned on the back, remembering when a sport made us relevant and powerful, now hanging limply on a rack with a dozen others, short fame forgotten.
There is nothing we really need except water, food and the love of others — and in my case a full tube of ChapStick.
It’s nice to have things. I am surrounded by my collection of books new and old, cheap artwork, and a plethora of bowls I can’t seem to stop gathering.
I like weird coffee cups and have amassed an eclectic bunch that hangs from a wire holder. I have large amounts of pottery to plant flowers in, and each summer sees more and more of them in storage as I have no room to display them all.
Along with kittens, I have too many things that require care and the extra effort that requires moving them around in my very small space in the world.
I discovered I was hoarding cable TV channels, almost 1,900 to be exact. For as long as I can remember, I wanted/needed those channels to feel comfortable. It was a mindless security blanket that triggered something in my brain.
I recognized a need for change, and last month we made the move to cut the cord. We purchased a Roku and now stream channels along with Netflix and Hulu. I did retain the Spectrum TV app and can watch live local channels along with my favorite news channels. It was hard for me to do, but it saved me a lot of money.
Knowing when to pare down something you’ve become attached to is a painful process. I often talk about how we lost so many things in our fire and have never missed them and how easy it was to acquire more: something new or catchy, the easiest gadget in the world you can’t live without.
Thrift stores are diamond mines, and I dig and dig, coming up with things I can’t live without. I’m very selective now that I’ve gotten older, and my thrifting loot bags are now much smaller. But that part of me remains, the one that wants to hang on to things for security, like a blankie a toddler would need to go to sleep.
I’m trying to break the habit of being needful and instead am seeking solace in simplicity, spareness. If I can become disciplined enough to live in this way, my mind will become a canvas filled intently with words and prose, maybe even a manuscript good enough for publication.
I don’t want to drown inside of things. I want to live in an open, vast space free of clutter. We burden ourselves with minutiae yet know some acquired things are inevitable.
When we divided up Mom’s things, I gained more. But I am working each day to spread myself out, carving out a clean space for me to work in, to thrive in. I want it full of things that are meaningful and playful, something I enjoy looking at and being around.
I’m also working at decluttering the unnecessary things that bog me down. There’s a fine line inside the expanse I’ve created, and I’m determined to walk it well.