Just what is up with that stinking woodpecker?

Just what is up with that stinking woodpecker?
                        

I was out in the yard one day recently when I heard it — a noise that sounded like a jack hammer, only not quite as loud. It sounded like it was coming from the spouting on the back of the garage. That was strange, I thought as I continued picking up sticks out of the yard.

I am pretty familiar with the noises around our neighborhood, especially in the fall when the first buckeye drops on the roof with a thud that sounds like someone is trying to break into the house with a sledgehammer. That jack hammer sound had me baffled though.

Then I heard it again. This time it hit me, and I looked up. There was the culprit — a small woodpecker was sitting inside the spouting.

“Hey, get out of here,” I yelled.

The bird’s little gray head popped up, and he gave me a sideways glance that looked, well, like he was feeling guilty. I had never seen a bird that looked guilty before, but this bird had the look. After that “I’m sorry” glance, he flew off.

I called for Joe so he could help me solve the problem. We decided there must be some bugs residing in the spouting that the bird was after. Joe got out the special attachment for his leaf blower and blew a bunch of slimy, leafy stuff out of the gutter. He moved onto the house and did those gutters too.

Problem solved — ha, until the next day.

Joe and I are sitting in the living room when over the sound of the television we hear the jack hammer sound again.

“Is that your stinking bird?” Joe asked.

I was already out the door and checking out the spouting so I could yell again, “Hey, get out of here.”

Yes, it was my stinking bird, and he gave me that guilty look again. It was like he knew he shouldn’t be in the spouting, but he couldn’t help himself. A few more uneasy glances at me and he hopped out of the spouting and started up the roof.

I ran in to grab my camera. If I couldn’t keep him out of the spouting and off the house, maybe I could at least get a good photo. No luck, he was gone by the time I got back outside.

I sat down on the porch swing for a few minutes to see if he was going to strike again.

It didn’t take long before it was hammer time again. This time he was over in the neighbor’s spouting. It wasn’t my house, but I still yelled — same guilty look and then he flew away.

Was there no end to the madness? And why am I yelling at birds?

In the meantime I decided to attend a birding program offered by the Tuscarawas County Parks Department. It gave me the opportunity to ask a local expert birding volunteer just what was up with that woodpecker.

The expert laughed when I told him what was happening. Apparently, woodpeckers like to hammer on spouting because it makes such a loud noise, and because the birds don’t vocalize much, they like to use that extra noise from the spouting to let other birds know this is their territory.

Maybe I need to show that bird the deed to my house. It’s lawfully my territory, and this bird apparently has a high disregard for the law. Law enforcement could be involved, but really — calling the sheriff on a bird?

I doubt they have a cell that could hold him. And if they did, he would probably be there at the jail jack hammering on those stainless-steel metal toilets just to make a point and driving them nuts.

They’d have to release him. He’d come back here for sure because he’s already declared this his territory. Hmmm, guilt seems to work to get him to leave, at least temporarily. I’ll keep working on that.

“Hey, get out of here.”


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