When it comes down to the wire, call the doctor
- col-teri-stein
- August 12, 2023
- 1021
Finally, we got rid of those pesky ants that had been invading my kitchen for almost two weeks. It got pretty crazy. It’s hard to cook when you have to watch that no ants crawl into your food.
They also, in less than two days, figured out how to get around to my stove and other countertops, even after I removed the crumb catcher/ant bridges from between the stove and countertop.
We finally got a name-brand liquid ant killer that starts with a T and ends in an O. It took the ants about 12 hours to notice the bait, and my husband Joe helped in the process. He noticed a group of ants hanging out near the sink, so he moved the bait closer to them, and it worked. For the rest of the day, we had ants galore running back and forth crazily, like well, ants.
We happily watched them, hoping for the best, and it appears they are gone — for now. We’re keeping some of that bait around because you know sooner or later — just like Arnold Schwarzenegger in the “Terminator” movies — they’ll be back.
But it didn’t take long for another mishap to rear its ugly head or shall we say toe.
All day when I moved just so, I could feel a sharp pain in one of my big toes. Finally, at the end of the day, I decided to take a closer look. A piece of fine wire, a little bigger than a strand of hair, had embedded itself on the bottom of my toe in a lovely crescent shape.
All I can figure out is the small piece of wire got caught on my sock, and then as I was walking outside with my sister, it worked its way into my skin — gross.
I try to stay away from the doctor, but this could be the kind of freak thing that was going to send me to the office. But why should I go to the doctor if I can take care of this myself? It didn’t look that hard to remove.
Important, don’t try this at home.
I gathered all the surgical tools I had around the house, which consisted of a sewing needle and a pair of tweezers. I got comfortable in a well-lit area and devised a plan of action. I’ll just stick the needle in under the center of the wire, pull it out a little way, grab it with the tweezers and, voila, no need to call the doctor.
Luckily, I didn’t fill Joe in on my plan because he would have broken out a razor blade knife.
As I’m jabbing the needle into my toe, I realize I forgot to grab one important item — an alcohol pad to sanitize that needle to keep infectious germs from setting in and blowing my foot up to the size of a bowling ball.
I’ve had foot surgery before, and it was not fun. I can’t be laid up and not walking for weeks. I’m technically retired, so I have things to do.
Ouch, ouch, ouch. I tried a few times to fish that wire out with no luck. I decided I better quit mutilating my toe so medical personnel could still see the wire.
The physician’s assistant was worried I might kick her in the face. But I had already decided I was just going to make overly dramatic, painful facial expressions to cope during the entire process rather than move my foot — even when she stuck me with sharp scissors and pointy needle-nosed tweezers.
More ouch, ouch, ouch. And after a few tense minutes for me, the wire was finally pulled out. We happily returned home, but that happiness was short lived.
Summer is slipping by so fast, and I haven’t spent as much time as I would like outside. I went to the front porch to sit on the swing.
On my way I discovered more ants in an outside march toward the front of the house, and I didn’t even get settled into the swing before I noticed some bees had moved into our front door frame.
Over the weekend I finally got to spend some quality outdoor time in my lawn chair at a local history festival listening to some very interesting speakers. But as I munched on my lunch salad, Mother Nature had another trick — plop, a little green worm dropped on my plate. I didn’t eat it.
Returning to my car, which was parked under a tree I had parked under before without problems, my freshly washed vehicle now held much evidence of the crazy multi-bird poo party that was going on overhead.
For me to enjoy the rest of the summer, all these creatures need to stay away. Please, Mother Nature, make it stop.