Dusty Springfield had a big hit in the summer of 1964 with a song called Wishin and Hopin.
I realize that by spending my first sentence of a limited word count on something that people under the age of 40 have zero hope of remembering, let alone appreciating, might make me seem foolish. Im willing, however, to take that risk, since its not really Dusty Springfield that I want to write about this week, although there are eminently worse ways to waste my precious time with you.
I could, for example, pick some low-hanging fruit. Who in this business wouldnt kick back and knock out a thousand words on the cultural/sociological/scatological/imbecilic phenomenon that is the Donald Trump Experience? As Len Barry sang years ago in 1,2,3 just after Lyndon Johnson had won the White House: Its so easy: like taking candy from a baby.
And yall know where Im coming from.
As my mother told me when I was knee-high to a portrait of JFK, staring up at crucifix draped in somber black that awful November afternoon in 1963, Michael, she said. Remember this. Always vote for the best candidate, so long as hes a Democrat.
Back then, of course, Mom couldnt have envisioned a campaign like this one, but I often wonder what she would have made of Hillary Rodham Clinton and her divisive candidacy for the highest office in the land. On the one hand, shed be astonished and thrilled and fist-strong proud that a woman would be this close to the presidency. When Mom was born, well, women were barred from the ballot box. On the other hand, the upcoming race for the White House promises to be bombastic, bordering on the barbaric, and Mom might have said to herself, Wake me when its over.
Because you and I both know that this is going to be an awful exercise in representative democracy – an unrestrained war of wills pulling at the worst angels of our humanity and that by the time Nov. 8 rolls around, all were going to be able to do is muster the internal fortitude necessary to stand in endless lines long enough to hold our noses, block out the stench of hideous opportunism and just (bleeping) vote. Then, if youre like me, youll head to the beach and just wade into the waves, cleansing yourself of the whole unholy mess.
I hold out no hope for civil discourse. I believe that this will be, without question, the most disgraceful, disgusting and demeaning excuse for a presidential campaign in my lifetime. And Im an older guy whos feeling mighty young these days.
I remember, just so you know my frame of reference, a guy named William Miller who, in 1964, was plucked from the depths of obscurity to take a job no one in his right mind would ever consider. Trumps would-be veep nominee ought to take notice of this certain route to political suicide.
I refer, of course, to the vice presidential slot on a ticket headlined by perhaps the most sure-to-lose candidate ever, an ultra-right zealot by the name of Barry Goldwater. He had, not to put too fine a point on it, zero chance of entering the Oval Office other than as an invited guest and that was iffy. Goldwaters appeal lay exclusively in the lunatic fringe, mostly white middle-aged Southern and Southwestern men, guys whod barely made it through high school, let alone attended college, good ole boys who believed in segregation, keeping their women pregnant and barefoot and, on a good day, could point out Viet Nam on a globe, but never be able to spell Hue. Let alone Khe Sanh. Not the sharpest pencils in the drawer. And it came as no surprise that when America woke up to the morning papers on Nov. 4, the headlines read, LBJ Elected in Landslide.
Goldwater, however, went on to a long and distinguished career as a U.S. senator from Arizona; in fact – and you probably wont believe me, but its Gospel – etched his name in American history when his was the voice of reason when it came time for Nixon to admit he was a liar and a crook and felon and sleazoid who had to quit in disgrace the summer of 1974.
So no, you wont hear me saying boo bad about Barry Au H20.
He stood up and made a difference. He might have only won his home state and the Jim Crow South in 1964, but Ill always tip my cap in his direction when it comes to Republicans who have earned my respect. True, the list isnt long Jefferson, Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, the good Nixon – but mostly, I tend toward the Democratic side of the ledger.
Ive been eligible to vote since I was 18 and in those races, well, lets just say Im not hitting for a very good average: McGovern, Carter twice, Mondale, Dukakis, Clinton twice, Gore, Kerry and Obama twice.
Which brings us up to date you feeling good about your choices? My guess is a world of no. Neither Hillary nor Trump is what youd call an inspiring leader. Ones tainted by scandal and corruption and the others a lunatic. Whats a sane person to do? Still, theres a long time before any of us has to cast a ballot and in the interminable interim, a lot can change, maybe for the better, but I doubt it. So keep wishin and hopin.
Afraid thats the best I can do.
Mike Dewey can be reached at CarolinamikeD@aol.com or at 6211 Cardinal Drive, New Bern, NC 28560. Join the fun on his Facebook page.
