Feminism unintentionally eroded the ritual of teenage dating
- Michelle Wood: SWCD
- October 27, 2017
- 1202
By contrast to my seemingly sunny, optimistic disposition, my wife will attest that I’m actually quite crabby at times.
That’s because at my core I’m a grumpy generation Xer. And if there’s one thing that defines us, it’s our general disdain for society on the whole. We’re quite good at picking out problems and telling folks what’s wrong.
Sometimes we offer solutions, but in general we’re really just crabby that things are the way they are. So your best bet is to just leave us alone. We’re probably busy listening to Weezer in the basement and swearing under our breath anyway.
At least for me personally, a huge source of my surly nature is centered on this ever-growing selfie-snapping, pop-music worshipping, over-sensitive millennial culture.
But something happened recently that changed my viewpoint, at least a little bit.
While running practice with my high school girls a few weeks back, two teenage boys stopped into training, each prepared to ask two of my girls to be their homecoming date.
I saw one nervously waiting with a large proposal sign, flower and stuffed animal just around the corner. So I sent the girls to grab water so he could make his move.
The second quietly approached after practice and nervously and respectfully made his homecoming pitch. Both proposals fortunately were accepted and both to the cheers of all their teammates around.
And the more I thought about it, the more impressed I was.
To put yourself out there in front of your peers, teenage peers no less, knowing that rejection is a possibility, that takes guts.
All one needs to do is scroll down their social media timelines before any homecoming or prom, and you quickly realize this isn’t an isolated incident.
This notion of adolescent bravery — coupled with good, old-fashioned chivalry and respect — these are things that have gone missing from society for a long, long time.
I’m fast-approaching 40, and this sorta stuff was considered dated when I was growing up. So to see it played out before me in the year 2017, particularly at a time in my life when I have a daughter of my own and nearly 30 other young women I coach and adore as my own, means an awful lot.
For all the positive things the feminist movement has brought forward in terms of equality and respect in society and the workplace, it’s unintentionally eroded the ritual of teenage dating.
In short we forgot to teach teenage boys to honor the opposite sex — and not in a manner rooted in some chauvinistic power play, but because it’s the proper way to exist.
I’ve spent an awful lot of time being critical of the millennial culture, both in my daily conversations and in column inches devoted to this little space. And pretty much all of it I continue to stand by to this day.
But this is one instance where the next generation is getting it right. Keep doing what you’re doing boys. You might make me a believer just yet.