Motherhood is a tough gig. Probably the toughest, most exhausting job I have ever had. Moms make mistakes. I know I do. Sometimes, to make ourselves feel better, we pass judgment on other moms. As if we are doing it better than they are.
I would never let my child eat that much ice cream, you think to yourself. Or Look at the way he is talking to his mom. I would never put up with that.
We let ourselves slip into judging mode, when we should be in a supportive role. What is it about seeing someone else fail that makes us feel better about ourselves? Just look at American Idol.
Each week, we watch four very pious judges put singers in their places. And we enjoy seeing the bad singers embarrass themselves. And though Randy, Ellen, Kara and Simon (Yes, I know their names ) do seem to have a heart sometimes, they also laugh, chuckle, and downright degrade many of the pop star wannabes they are judging.
So heres the thing - What if motherhood were an audition? Would you make it to Hollywood? Would you make it past the group sing-off? Or would they laugh you off the stage?
Just imagine. Youre at the grocery store, and your preschooler throws a knock-down, drag-out temper tantrum just as you are pushing your overloaded, lopsided grocery cart to the check out. (Yes, I have been there.)
Your stress level intensifies as one wheel on the cart only goes sideways, and you struggle to keep the bread from falling off the top as you carry your four-year-old with your only free arm.
Thats when she throws her head back and screams, I want M&Ms!
No, honey, you calmly say. Not today. We can get a snack at home.
The screaming hits decibels only dogs can hear. The tears flow, the kid hits the floor. The mom behind you in line rolls her eyes and you feel like a spotlight is shining down on your not-so-great-mom moment.
Wanting to get out of the grocery store as quickly as possible, with your groceries and sanity intact, you discreetly grab a bag of M&Ms, tear off the top, shove them into your childs hand, and whisper angrily, Here!
The cashier rings up the torn bag, and smiles. You wish you could crawl into a hole and disappear.
Now lets judge that moment - American Idol style.
Yo, Dog, Randy might say, Not really a good move, you know?
What?! you exclaim.
Hey man, Im just trying to keep it real, Randy says.
Kara has her head in her hands, and she is shaking her head. Well, you look really good, and I know you love your child.
Your heart beats fast, and you wish you could exit, stage left.
Then Simon chimes in with, Yes or no, Kara. Should she be a mom? Yes or no.
What?! You must be dreaming.
Well, Ellen stutters
Sorry, Darlin, Simon says with a smirk. Four nos. Motherhood is not for you.
Boy, its a good thing my embarrassing mom moments are not judged, at least not openly.
Motherhood is a tough gig. So lets leave the judging to the singing. Give each other a break. Only then can we journey onto the stage of motherhood together, encouraging one another instead of tearing each other down.
Catch up with Trish on Facebook and Twitter and read her Tips for Tuesday at www.TrishBerg.com.
