Hate, as my brother so wisely put it, requires a lot of misspent energy.
Its too much work, he told me a long time ago. Share the planet.
So I try not to hate anyone any more.
Not the teachers who couldnt take a joke.
Not the coaches who were dumber than dirt.
Not the girlfriends who kicked me in the teeth.
Not the bosses who underestimated me.
All of them can just go ahead and live their lives ... I couldnt care less.
Were all here for a finite number of hours and they dwindle by the day. Everyone knows that every time you wake up, you tear another page off the calendar and that only brings death just a little closer. Thats the human condition.
Would YOU want to know?
I mean, if you had the ability to pin down the precise moment of your demise, would you open that envelope and peek inside ... or would you crumple it in your fist and pitch it into the fire?
No way Id want to know.
Id, well, hate that.
Just like the way I hate the mosquitoes that have positively taken over down here. Ever since Hurricane Irene -- which wasnt much of a blow, really, more like a rainstorm that just wouldnt leave, kind of a mother-in-law thing -- natures been all screwed up.
Bears have been spotted.
Squirrels are getting squashed.
Turtles have no idea when to hit the tide line.
Dolphins are breaching even as the Gulf stream slides offshore.
But its the mosquitoes that have been impacted the most. Normally, the little pests are long gone by this time. I mean, its October and they should long ago have spent their life cycles.
Get born.
Hang out for 30 seconds.
And then ... die.
We arent doing all that well dealing with the fact that Irene has turned nature on its head.
So I hate mosquitoes.
There.
I said it.
And Im sticking by it.
We have no bats here in Coastal Carolina.
Bats would solve everything.
Bats swallow mosquitoes likes whales inhale krill.
Down here, though ... no bats. Dont know why.
And without those predators, we have to rely on -- gulp -- human beings in a position of power.
Well spray, they say, but what those idiots in charge are really hoping for is a quick freeze so that they dont have to spend the little bit of money itll take to kill those flying, buzzing skeeters.
You want irony?
Heres something ironic.
My wife and I spent the better part of two days preparing the house -- inside and out -- for fall and winter and, best of all, planting lots of mums and pansies, not to mention arranging pumpkins and placing scarecrows and witches just so.
After all that work, inside and out, we tried to sit out on the back patio ... but the mosquitoes assaulted us, forcing her back indoors.
Me?
I smashed as many as I could, hating them so much.
Yes, I was (and am) filled with hate.
Autumn is the most fleeting season and it could be gone tomorrow, so I roam the property, killing mosquitoes with my bare hands.
And feet.
Trouble is, the little bloodsuckers are in the house, too. We have three bathrooms and, well, all are infested. So all the windows have to be closed and locked -- at least thats what we SHOULD do.
Instead, I crush em all.
Hate is my fuel and I drink it up, vampire-like.
One night, we rode our bikes up to the waterfront restaurant for dinner.
Riding back to the house, the air was thick with mosquitoes. It was like biking through a shooting gallery.
That just intensified my hatred.
And now, well, its entrenched in me.
I know Ill never win.
There are too many of them.
Theyre everywhere.
The house is filled with them.
No way to beat them.
Its just the way the world is today. No matter how hard you try, youre always going to lose. The game is stacked against you and you might as well quit.
Not me, though.
Ill keep on fighting, way beyond the point that it makes any sense.
