Have you heard this one? I cant part with that cupboard full of spare Tupperware lids because I might find one of the bowls some day. Or, I have to hang onto all of my childrens clothes because they are still so nice. Never mind that the precious tykes are in college, and no one wants toddler clothes from the 90s. Or heres another: If I get rid of this hippo head souvenir from Africa, I might hurt my friends feelings who brought it home for me. And I struggle with this one: My dad gave it to me or It belonged to my grandma, but both owned huge amounts of stuff that I could never have kept and also kept my sanity and marriage, come to think of it, intact.
If you have a clutter problem, its because you, too, have irrational fears that keep you stuck with your clutter or even attract more clutter into your life. Struggle is even a strong word because I dont usually struggle with clutter.
I have always been ruthless with clutter, to the extent that I even let my girls sell all their Polly Pockets in a garage sale only to hear about it for the rest of my life. Now that they are older, they really regret not keeping that collection of teeny dolls with all those eensy weensy accessories. I will have to do eBay penance for that one.
While I am confessing, my family found a stockpile this morning of empty shoeboxes that I couldnt throw away. My daughter exclaimed, Wow! and my husband told her, Yeah, I know. First of all, Wow that I had kept them, but also that they made such a mountain. No, I cant explain it. Its completely irrational like most clutter keeping. So clutter can happen to even experienced unclutterers. One must reject fear to clear clutter.
Theres a lot more to clearing clutter than the actual physical business of sorting piles to put away, give away, and throw away. Living an uncluttered life goes back to mental toughness and telling oneself the truth. For instance, in heaven, my dad has no need for me to safely keep his garage and barn full of all manner of guy stuff.
I can reject fear of disappointing him. Its a lie that keeping stuff honors the person who left it. When I got that straight in my head, I could straighten up all the junk guilt-free and give it to someone who would love it like my dad did.
I kept a few things that remind me of my dad: a plate of locks and keys that he had collected and always sat on his dresser. I have a pretty rock he held in his hand all day waiting for me when he was in the very late stages of Alzheimers. Appropriate clutter brings joy and is kept out of remembrance and celebration, not obligation.
That reminds me, I have a stack of boxes I need to throw away.
For more clutter coaching, follow Stephany on her blog Stepiphanies@wordpress.com or Twitter.com.
