Be a Ted Lasso when it’s time to do so
- col-dave-mast
- December 4, 2024
- 126
Sometimes one simple scene is all it takes to speak an encyclopedia worth of common sense coupled with compassion and humanity.
Such is the case in a scene from the TV series “Ted Lasso,” where Ted’s boss Rebecca comes into his office to confess she hired him solely to fail her professional soccer team simply to get back at her ex-husband, and she has sabotaged him at every turn.
While Rebecca expects to get lambasted by Ted, what Lasso does next is worth taking a seriously hard look at, because it is exactly what everyone should do prior to immediately flying off the handle in a rage or judging someone into oblivion.
After Rebecca tearfully and mournfully expresses her guilt, calling herself unimaginable things in her remorse, she awaits Ted’s ugly response that she believes she deserves.
Instead, Ted stands up, comes around his desk and says three simple words: “I forgive you.”
Rebecca can’t understand why Ted would do such a thing.
However, having gone through the struggles of separation of his own, Ted speaks to her gently about how divorce is hard and how it makes folks do crazy things, regardless of whether you’re the one leaving or being left.
Ted tells her they are OK and holds out his hand and asks Rebecca to shake it, but instead Rebecca quickly embraces Ted in a beautiful and purposeful hug.
Ted’s kindness, humility and willingness to forgive her has changed Rebecca’s heart.
It is a stunning and tearful moment that speaks volumes in a few simple seconds of film.
It is fantasy, people playing a role on TV, yet it also is something every human being should embrace in reality.
I have often used the example of a waitress who provides lousy service as an example of how people should react.
It would be easy to give a lousy tip in return or no tip at all, but consider this: What if the waitress was a mother of two children working three jobs to simply put food on the table? What if her rent was due and she and her children were on the verge of being evicted?
What if she had just gone through a divorce, was being abused at home or had just lost a parent?
If you knew, would that change how you would react?
The thing is we don’t know the entire story of strangers’ lives or where they are in life and what they are dealing with when our lives happen to coincide.
Thus, our response on how we treat them in return can make a big impact on their lives in one way or another.
We can add to their woes by returning their actions with ugliness or not caring at all, which only drives them further into the abyss through which they are going, or we can respond in compassion and understanding, perhaps, maybe just perhaps, providing a shard of light and joy in a life filled with ugliness.
You see we can’t control their actions. All we can do is control our own actions and how we respond in any given situation, whether it is in a restaurant, on the road, when something goes 180-degrees opposite of what we had hoped for and the outcome angers us, at a meeting, or like this example, where someone has wronged us and is pouring their heart out in an attempt to make amends.
We don’t know where other people’s lives stand or how they truly feel, but we do know and understand our own hearts and control our own thoughts, words, deeds and actions.
Going back to the waitress, I’ve always believed in my heart that the things I say, leaving an extra tip rather than stubbornly denying her one, or a kind word after my meal rather than offering a disappointing or angry response, might somehow impact her life in a positive way.
That’s why I was so touched when Ted forgave Rebecca so easily because, although he didn’t know the true story, he knew she was hurting.
It’s pretty easy to be bitter and spiteful. It’s a lot more challenging for us to show compassion and grace, especially when we’re not in the wrong. But it is times like that when perhaps the person looking us in the eye needs to hear or experience our respect and compassion more than we need to lash out and feel good about ourselves.
Just remember we don’t know the state of others’ lives.
In the end of the scene, Ted tells Rebecca, “When you care about someone and have a little love in your heart, there ain’t nothing you can’t get through.”
When the moment arises, I invite us all to be a Ted Lasso. Doing so is going to not only make them feel better, but also we will feel pretty great about ourselves.