Taller Half truly the king of 'fix it'
- Laura Moore: Housebroken
- May 16, 2023
- 523
In my family Taller Half is considered a minor god — a rather minor deity, but a deity nonetheless.
It's not his great good looks, charming personality or fine intellect that contribute to his admired stature but his astounding ability to fix things. He won all our hearts the day he reglazed a pane in my grandmother's front window. What style! What skill! He even caulked.
Though my kin are an intelligent lot, with the majority being above average in their thinking abilities, none of us have even had a clue as to how mechanical things work. In other words none of us knew a "flat head" from a "Phillip's head."
One time when a toilet overflowed, we promptly abandoned house. Fortunately, a neighbor came to our aid with his trusty plunger and repaired our problem. As a result he almost choked to death laughing at us and dined out on that story for several years.
Personally, I truly believe somehow our genetic code lacks a "fix it" gene. Once my mother tried to fix our toaster by removing some charcoal-like substance with a screwdriver. Fortunately, the smoke from the resulting fire didn't do much damage, except, of course, to the nervous systems of our immediate neighbors.
Many years ago we walked into our kitchen and found a small lake in front of the refrigerator. We splashed outside to ask a neighbor to find a plumber for us. When the plumber arrived, so did our neighbor to witness our mess. The plumber walked in, reach into the refrigerator and turned off the defrost knob. Our neighbor collapsed into a fit of laughter.
Now you can appreciate the joy Taller Half brought into my family's lives. He knew how to fix mechanical things. If I hadn't married him, my grandmother swore she would have.