I'm an ’80s girl in a TikTok world

I'm an ’80s girl in a TikTok world
                        

The Dell desktop computer came to our house in the biggest box I’d ever seen. I pulled the immensity of it out onto the floor and began to unbox it — huge tower, bulky screen, speakers that let you know what was playing. Mom (that’s me) figured out how to set it up and make it work.

I’d never taken computer classes before or learned how to keyboard. I took three years of Mr. Miller’s typing class, and that had been enough to learn how to keep my fingers in the correct place. I was a good, fast typist.

But despite my lack of learning the ins and outs of internet and computer use, it came easy to me, and that baby was set up in no time. This was the early 2000s, and desktop computers were the thing.

Back in the days of LimeWire and Xanga, I kept the computer virus-free with my manual scans. Free space? Let me clear some stuff and also defragment while I’m at it. I learned how to troubleshoot, reboot and blog all at the same time. I was coding pieces and parts into the personal blog I had created to make it come alive. I loved every second of it.

Today? Well, today I’m the old woman who can’t make a trendy TikTok video.

Somewhere in the last five years, I lost the thread. The youths have won, and I found myself asking my son and daughter-in-law how to do a voiceover on TikTok.

I can’t decide if it’s my brain or the overall complexity of the steps it takes to achieve the result. I consider myself very able, yet something has changed, and I can’t quite pinpoint it.

Maybe it’s not me but the way trendy videos or posts are viewed. The atmosphere has changed, and suddenly, it must be done a certain, edgy way to gain traction. I guess that’s always been the way of it.

I’m reminding myself that I’m trying to stay looped in, and that’s all that matters.

But staying looped in sometimes ties us in knots. Or maybe tied to our phones. Yesterday we went to Stark County Fair with our kids and grandkids. When we got inside, I realized I’d left my phone in the car. There was no chance for sweet, little photos and action shots of the kids on rides or slurping lemonade. I was a bit dejected.

But a weird feeling started creeping up through me … a bit of freedom maybe? I wasn’t tied to capturing moments and instead could be free to focus my attention where it should be anyway — on those around me. We had a great time at the fair, and I didn’t think of my phone once. I even rode the Scrambler, a favorite from my own youth.

That being said, I do love the creativity TikTok and Instagram give me. It’s fun to take what we love and share a glimpse of it with the world. Maybe my little niche corner will turn into a million views. That would be fun. Either way I don’t want to be tied to constantly creating content that feels like work.

My son tracked down an old Zenith TV for me from the late ‘80s, early ‘90s. I’m hooking up my Atari system and will run rampant in the Space Invaders realm. Everything old becomes cool again at some point. Just biding my time. Until then I will watch and learn from the youths, learning from them what I can. We should always be learning something new.

Melissa Herrera is a reflective writer who captures the beauty and sorrow of change. With a career spanning 14 years as an opinion columnist and the publication of two books, she resides in Stark County with her husband and four cats. She writes to preserve memories. You can reach her at junkbabe68@gmail.com.


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