Smoke detectors can cause household chaos
- Laura Moore: Housebroken
- April 1, 2025
- 705
Remember when smoke detectors were introduced on the market? We were delighted when they became available, and we treated our house to several. They were inexpensive, easy to install and needed only the occasional battery change to keep them fit. We put them in the obvious places: next to the kitchen, at the head of the stairs and in the upstairs hallway. They weren’t big and blended well on the wall, so we hardly noticed them.
Perhaps they resented being ignored and wanted attention, but whatever their reasons, our smoke detectors began to cause periodic panic in our household. The first attack occurred while Taller Half was cooking breakfast. He was happily frying bacon when the smoke detectors suddenly emitted a piercing screech. Taller Half immediately assumed someone was murdering our cat and rushed to its rescue. The result was burned bacon, an astonished cat and a furious cook.
The smoke detector in the back hall would occasionally, for no apparent reason, squeal hysterically. We’d rush back there and find nothing.
Changing the batteries didn’t help, and the problem continued. Then our son moved out, and the squealing stopped. The steam from his long, hot showers was the culprit. The dumb detector couldn’t tell steam from smoke.
The worst panic attack occurred one stormy Saturday. The power had gone off, leaving our household with a limited range of activities. While the rest of us snoozed, one child decided to read by candlelight. The smoke detector at the head of the stairs smelled candle smoke and began like a demented banshee.
At the same instant, the weather bureau issued a severe storm warning, which triggered the alarm on the battery-operated weather radio and blended their voices in an ear-shattering, people-panicking duet. The result was total bedlam.
Eventually, things calmed down, but we continued to live on high alert due to our overachieving smoke detectors.
Laura Moore can be emailed at lehmoore1@gmail.com.