Sometimes, things just go wrong
- Laura Moore: Housebroken
- October 3, 2023
- 451
There is nothing quite like having the oven catch on fire, the toilet back up or the kitchen ceiling develop a dripping bulge just before your company arrives. Believe me, it is a deliberate act of house terrorism.
Those things seldom seem to occur at a good time. A friend was recently a victim of such an event. She had worked hard all week getting her house ready for weekend guests, her in-laws. As she plugged in a new lamp on the bedside table in the guest room, the outlet spat fire and filled the air with the stench of burned wiring.
Unfortunately, that was only the beginning. The windows wouldn’t budge when our friend tried to let in some fresh air. Rushing to the kitchen for air-freshener, she splashed into a rapidly filling lake in the middle of the floor. Have you ever tried to get a plumber to come out right when you call one? She couldn’t either. Only fast action by her husband prevented the lake from spreading into the dining room — he turned off the water at the meter.
In all the excitement, my friend forgot all about the roast cooking on the back porch grill, until smoke began billowing through the open kitchen door. Trying to be helpful, her husband rushed to turn on the attic fan, which effectively drew the smoke throughout the entire house.
My friend faced greeting her guests in a smoke-filled house with no water available except on the kitchen floor, a guest room that reeked and a dinner of charred roast. With super-human effort, they managed to air out, mop up, patch a pipe and throw together a
casserole before their guests arrived.
They had a lovely visit. The house was quiet, awaiting the attentions of plumbers and electricians and the exciting arrival of a brand-new kitchen floor. We learned our friends had not invited company to visit for well over a year. Can’t say we were surprised!