The importance of family traditions
- Laurie Sidle, OSU Extension Wayne Co.
- December 11, 2023
- 483
I recently opened a meeting of our Extension Family and Consumer Sciences Advisory Committee by asking members to name their favorite holiday traditions, and I was fascinated to hear their responses.
One woman said she and her husband look forward to a night when they let their children stay up late and drive them around town in the family van looking at the Christmas lights dressed in pajamas and munching on favorite snacks.
Another family breaks bread together during a formal Christmas Eve dinner, and if they can’t all be together in one place, they do it over Zoom.
One member talked about her family annually watching “A Christmas Story,” and another mentioned that when her children were young, they colored pictures of Santa, so they still do it every year at Christmas — even as adults.
Also mentioned was an annual Christmas Day brunch with egg casserole and monkey bread.
Most of us, I’m sure, have a favorite tradition. The committee members were quick to respond, so I could tell how much their specially planned activities meant to them.
Alisa Grace, co-director of the Biola University Center for Marriage and Relationships, shared that traditions have important benefits for families.
“Research shows families that celebrate repeated traditions report stronger emotional connections and unity than families that don’t,” Grace said. “They also build intergenerational connections with extended family.”
Traditions also ensure that people take time for emotional connection amid the busyness of holiday planning and programs. It’s all too easy for holidays to slip by without really being “present” with your loved ones, she said. Additionally, as your children grow older, having lasting traditions is influential in maintaining emotional connections and closeness.
Here are other ways she said traditions benefit families:
—Traditions give children a sense of identity. Whether your traditions reinforce your family, your faith or even your culture, they help establish a sense of “This is us. This is what we do. This is who we are,” Grace said.
—Traditions create lasting memories for children. Ellen Gralinsky, co-founder of the Families and Work Institute, described a survey in which she asked children what they would remember most about their childhood. Most of the children responded by talking about simple, everyday traditions like family dinners, holiday get-togethers and bedtime stories. “Traditions help create the warm, nostalgic feelings we get when we think back to our childhood,” Grace said.
—Traditions provide kids with security. The familiarity of regular rituals and traditions can provide children with comfort during turmoil. A divorce in the family can turn life upside down, but holiday traditions can bring a sense of stability. They can also bring comfort when there is a loss in the family.
—Traditions are a chance to celebrate whatever makes your family unique. Think about your family’s values. Try to personalize your traditions to your specific family members in creative ways. A great way to do this is by letting your children help determine what you do and how you do it. Ask them, “What do you remember most about last Christmas?” (or your holiday celebration).
When choosing to start traditions, make sure to keep them simple.
Find meaningful ways to make memories together as a family without added stress or planning that leaves you exhausted.
My favorite tradition is attending my church’s Christmas Eve Service, which ends with the lighting of candles in the dark sanctuary with the congregation singing “Silent Night.” My parents took my brother and me to Christmas Eve services as a child, so not only is it meaningful, but it’s also nostalgic. I’ve done the same with my children. This is us.
Laurie Sidle is an Ohio State University Extension Family and Consumer Sciences and 4-H program assistant and may be reached at 330-264-8722 or sidle.31@osu.edu.