Thermostatic warfare can be dangerous
- Laura Moore: Housebroken
- September 17, 2024
- 147
Statistics on the divorce rate in this country are talked and written about frequently. Everyone has a theory explaining marriage failures — for instance, lack of commitment, fights about finances and job stress, to name a few — but I’m talking about differences in temperature requirements. They can cause great discomfort, which can lead to divorce.
When courting, folks never give any thought to the temperature requirements of prospective partners. People fall in love, get married and/or move in together without ever once considering their temperature compatibility, which can lead to serious marital discord.
The problem is that opposites attract — the warm-natured among us are attracted to the cold-natured and vice versa. This is by no means an insurmountable obstacle to marital bliss, but it is potentially a serious source of problems.
For example, a man who is comfortable only when the air around him is 65 F may fall in love with a woman who is miserable if the temperature is less than 70 F. Even if they notice those differences while courting, neither realizes its significance.
Initially, cohabitating couples engage in a rather civilized form of thermostatic warfare. First one, then the other, will adjust the temperature setting to his or her preference. Their house is then in a state of constant flux, up and down.
However, as couples get older, their desire for individual comfort increases while patience with their climatically opposite mate decreases. It is at this point relationships are at risk.
If he flirts with heat stroke so she is comfortable or she flirts with hypothermia so he doesn’t sweat, there is trouble brewing. One severely cold winter’s night, a warm-natured neighbor turned the thermostat setting so low their pipes froze, and so did his mate. When
she thawed out, she was furious. When the summer heat settled around them, he again turned the thermostat down. But when she realized what was happening, she turned the thermostat up to her comfort level, and he suffered a heat stroke. At that point they filed for divorce.
Perhaps it’s time for thermostats to be labeled as a danger to physical and marital health.