'Trick-or-Treat' time in NASCAR neighborhood
- Tom Rife: Livin' the Team
- October 28, 2021
- 621
Nobody does "Trick-or-Treat" quite like the National Association of Stock Car Auto Racing. As a result, all gearhead eyes Sunday will be on the haunted Martinsville Speedway in Virginia, where NASCAR will go bobbing for apples and transform its Round of 8 ghouls into Championship 4 goblins.
Tempers and twisted sheet metal are sure to be spilling over the charming but cramped confines of the half-mile cauldron affectionately known as “The Paperclip.”
Halloween 2021 could not have arrived at a better time.
At stake are three treats that are the three remaining berths in the Cup Series championship event on Nov. 7 at the NASCAR-owned Phoenix Raceway. That’s where playoff points will be off the table and the top-four drivers will enter the 312-mile, “winner-take-all” season finale on equal asphalt.
The trick? Well, given the fact he’s already won nine races this season, it would be a cryin’ shame if wheel man extraordinaire Kyle Larson didn’t win the championship this time around. He’s currently on a three-straight win spell and is the first driver to have two three-race streaks in the same season since Dale Earnhardt in 1987.
Larson ultimately could lose out, though, especially if Kevin Harvick (out of the playoffs) doesn’t put Chase Elliott (34 points to the good) into the fence again. The 4 and the 9 ran close together several times this past Sunday at Kansas, and the two drivers appeared to be on their best behavior (LOL).
Not to be overlooked is Denny Hamlin, who starts Sunday 32 points above Wait 'Til Next Year.
The race at Martinsville should be a treat because viewers will see guys like Joey Logano and Brad Keselowski try just about anything to win and advance to the Chase finale in the desert. The mission looms a bit more probable for Ryan Blaney and Martin Truex, Jr., but then again, both start Martinsville just below the cut line. Larson is the only driver locked in.
There’s always that “other” trick that could be played on the title contenders. One of the drivers already eliminated from the playoffs could take the checkered flag Sunday. If that happens, so much for the last remaining automatic berth for Phoenix.
One thing is for sure: No matter what happens, when it happens or who’s to blame, Kyle Busch, one point above the cut line, will find a way to complain about it.
Speaking of tricks, feint-of-hand NASCAR is really trying to pull a fast one on its dwindling fan base by going to the “Next Gen” car in 2022. The move is yet another gimmick the big cheeses are using to try to reel spectators back in. Yes, there are other plausible reasons for the introduction of the Next Gen car, but all those empty/covered seats at Texas a couple of weeks ago didn’t bode well for the sport’s eroding image.
Here’s the rub: The Next Gen machines will have Ford, Chevy and Toyota noses on them, but they all will still look alike and resemble nothing for sale in the automotive market today. Loyal followers will never identify with the Next Gen car because they are not in showrooms throughout the country.
Since SUV models now dominate the landscape, the old phrase, “What wins on Sunday sells on Monday,” is as outdated as your cousin’s old leisure suit.
Regarding the Next Gen debut in 2022, it’s already been reported that, for safety reasons, the current cars — not the Next Gens — may be run at Daytona in February.
As for treats, what does NASCAR have up its sleeve after the Martinsville and Phoenix races are in the books? New teams? Fewer rules? More cheating? More fights? New TV announcers?
How 'bout putting a Buick, a Dodge or even a Honda out there on the track?
Since Sunday’s big race falls on Halloween, it would be a delight to force drivers to wear gruesome masks during the prerace introductions. Paint all the race cars orange and include a concert by the Smashing Pumpkins. Offer endless Tootsie Rolls, Smarties and sticky popcorn balls to those who successfully predict the winner of the race.
Run the race at night with strobe lights and fog machines. Let skeletons ride shotgun. Spice up caution flags by replacing air wrenches with chainsaws. Put vampires on the pit boxes and create ghosts that mysteriously appear during the in-car camera shots. Drape Victory Lane with spider webs.
Two final suggestions: Sunday’s national anthem must be performed by The Masked Singer and end with a bewitching flyover by Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert aboard their warp-speed vroomsticks.
Happy NASCARween!