Don’t entertain every thought you have
- Kyle Snyder: Live on Purpose
- May 5, 2025
- 388
“If there is no enemy within, then the enemy outside can do us no harm.”
—African proverb
I know I can be my own worst enemy. I guess everyone reading this is right there with me. It is too easy to criticize ourselves and look back on all the mistakes we made and think we should have done better. Question: What good does it do? Dr. Phil always asks, “What is the payoff?” His line of thinking is there must be a payoff, or we wouldn’t do the things we don’t want to do.
So what is the payoff? We are like, “There is no payoff.” We don’t want to feel this way. However, we sometimes subconsciously feel we deserve to be punished for our sins. We use black-white thinking; it’s all-or-nothing thinking. It’s all bad or all good; there is nothing in the middle. In reality very few things are good or bad. Some thoughts may not be pleasant to think about, and we may not even intend to think about them.
It is important to note studies suggest we have 70,000 thoughts a day. So it’s impossible to control all of them. If we try to, what else would we get done? Think of it as being like the ocean tide. Some thoughts come, and we think, “That was odd,” and we go about our day. That is like low tide. It came in a little way, then went out right away. Others are like high tide; those are the ones with longer reach and slow going back out.
I struggle with anxiety. One day my counselor told me to talk back to my thoughts. The idea is to get me to question whether they are helping me or harming me. I took it one step further. I asked myself if my negative thoughts are serving a purpose. Also, I asked if they could kill me, and the answer is no. By asking myself those questions, I realized they were a waste of my time.
There is one more trick I use. I was reading a book, and the author said there was someone who told him that when a negative thought popped into their head, they would just say, “It is just a thought.” I know it sounds simple, but I have been using that in my life, and I have had great results.
This is not a magic formula. It will take time and effort to change the way we are thinking. If you think using therapy might be the best route for you, I would encourage that. Our mental health is just as important as our physical health.
Kyle Snyder can be emailed at kylesnyder86@yahoo.com.