Don't judge if you don’t know the story
- Kyle Snyder: Live on Purpose
- January 16, 2025
- 264
“We don’t know their story, and we haven’t walked in their shoes.”
—Kathy Adams
I was talking with my mom about the cost of living, and I asked if things will ever get better. Now I knew the answer was yes before she told me. It just felt nice hearing her say it will be alright.
Then we began talking about other things, and the conversation turned to judging the actions of others. She said she always has to think about the words of a minister who fills in for her pastor from time to time. She always says, “We don’t know their story, and we don’t walk in their shoes.” If that hurt a little, don’t worry — it hurt me as well.
I find it way easier to judge people than to try and understand where they are coming from. We all have an outlook on life that is only different by our own experiences. The places we have been, the events we experienced, our teachers, the people we talk to, they all add to our experience of life.
We can feel threatened by new ideas or situations. As humans we like the usual and the predictable. We can think we know people’s situations, and we say, “If I were in their shoes, I would do ... ” However, we are not in their shoes.
Everyone has a history, and every family has unspoken expectations their members need to meet. Judging others is so easy because we know what is expected of us, and we tend to project those expectations onto other people. It is hard to walk 10 feet, let alone a mile, in someone else’s shoes. Trying to understand other people’s stories requires us to let go of any preconceived ideas we may be holding onto and getting to know the actual person.
The idea of getting to know people can be really scary to think about; however, if we just judge people without knowing their story, we run the risk of becoming bitter people. Dealing with people can be messy business. Having conversations with people, asking them questions about themselves, can make them feel better and can make us better people. There have been times when I have asked myself why does a person do something a certain way, only to find out they were never taught how to do it or they had a bad experience.
I had a lot of people encouraging me growing up; however, not everyone had a positive person to influence their life. I heard a story today about a boy in school who had to write a paper on what he wanted to be when he grew up. The teacher asked him to read the paper in front of the class. The whole class laughed because he wrote he wanted to be on TV. The teacher told him she was going to call his parents because he was being a smart aleck.
That night at dinner his mother told his father the teacher had called about the way their son was behaving. The dad asked him why he acted that way, and the boy replied, “Because I wrote that I wanted to be on TV.” His dad told him to keep his paper and read it every morning and every night before he went to bed. Today, Steve Harvey is on TV and is making millions of people laugh.
Some people just need someone to listen to them and know that their voice is being heard. Just think about a time when you had an issue in your life and someone was there to listen. We can act the same way to our fellow man.
If we really look at how we are spending our time, some of our time would be better spent encouraging others. The Bible says judge not, lest you be judged, so if we don’t want other people to judge us, then we should not judge others. We should do our part to make the world a better place, and it starts by listening to others.