For St. Valentine’s Day: A thinly veiled love letter
The sound can launch a man right out of his chair. More of a high-pitched yelp than a dainty and civilized “achoo,” my wife’s sneeze reflex delivers a sound nearly identical to that produced by a dog whose paw has suddenly found itself trapped between a hardwood floor and a human’s shoe.
And if the first one doesn’t get you, the next two will. They come in sets of three — always. Over the years I have learned to respond — once I’ve peeled myself off the ceiling — with “God bless you, bless you, BLESS YOU!” right off the bat to save myself the time and trouble of waiting for the cycle to conclude.
Kristin’s hiccups carry a similar sound signature but arrive at entirely random moments and are often singular events, a curiosity for which I am genuinely thankful.
Reflex reactions, neither of these traits can be controlled in any regard by their owner, nor should they be, same with her tendency to gag when she cleans her left ear or commences with one of the previously mentioned sneeze-volleys if her gaze falls too close to the sun.
Each is part and parcel of the character I’ve come to know and love over the course of almost 40 years. Chances are good that if I’d been given an exhaustive list of all of Kristin’s quirks and weirdnesses, I would have been even quicker to ask her to marry me. (History would show it took me 10 months to get around to popping the question, but my mind was made up after only a week or two.) I’ve always had an affinity for oddballs. Kristin was a walking, talking cartoon character. There was no way I was going to let her get away.
As Valentine’s Day rolls around each year, I am reminded how, on the same holiday back in 1986, I was happily cruising through life as a young college student with a full head of hair, handful of good buddies and a “nobody’s gonna slow me down” attitude. A little over a week later, a cute girl made a point of bumping into me at an off-campus watering hole, and rather than slowing me down, we seemed to catch a swift wind and sail forward together.
I’m sure when Kristin reads this, she’ll deliver some entirely unjustified (in my humble opinion) little critique, and I will ignore it. Likewise, when she ponders a cartoon to go along with this piece I’ll make some really, really great suggestion, and she’ll laugh it off as uncreative and lame. That’s the happy balance, one that’s worked out pretty darn well for most of the past four decades. Turns out it was just exactly what each of us was looking for — whether we knew it or not. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Kristin and John Lorson would love to hear from you. Write Drawing Laughter, P.O. Box 170, Fredericksburg, OH 44627, or email John at jlorson@alonovus.com.