04272011 Hope for Healing: Survivors of sexual abuse speak out

  • By Denice Rovira Hazlett
  • April 27, 2011
  • 265
                        
Summary: Last week, part one of Hope for Healing introduced four people who experienced sexual abuse as children. Part two presents some of the longterm affects of such abuse. Story: Childhood sexual abuse occurs when a child of any age, including teens, is exploited by anyone older or more powerful than they are. It can involve anything from exposing the child to pornographic materials to forcing them to watch or engage in sexual acts. Whether the incident happens over a period of years or is a single, isolated event, it is still abuse, and the effects can last a lifetime. Jenny’s experience has haunted her for fifteen years, though the assault ended in just minutes. After an argument with her father, Jenny was admitted to a pediatric psychiatric ward where a male patient entered her room, unnoticed by nurses, and raped her. Jenny’s attack, like 84% of those reported in the U.S., was by physical force alone. The percentage of rapes where a weapon is used is small, only 11%. Unlike Jenny’s case, most rapes are committed by someone known to the victim. “Some people say they have an out-of-body experience,” Jenny said. “I was in there somewhere but couldn’t find a voice. It was like I was trying to leave my body and couldn’t.” To this day, Jenny can’t stand to be touched. Her physiological struggles are accompanied by feelings of guilt for not prosecuting the rapist. At the time, she was just sixteen and overwhelmed by the process of police interviews and legal proceedings. She just wanted it all to end. Now she worries that she allowed the perpetrator to victimize others. Like Jenny, sixty percent of rape victims never report to the police. Fifteen out of sixteen rapists will never spend a single day in jail. “I remember the officers saying that he’d probably done this before. It hit me later that I could have prevented him from victimizing someone else. Now I feel guilty because I didn’t.” Rickie, like other victims of incest, has a strained relationship with family members and struggles with mistrust, obsessive fear, and betrayal. She questions her sexuality and has lived a promiscuous lifestyle, which many female victims often do in an effort to prove to themselves that they are in control of their sexuality. Sadly, Anna, Rickie, Parker and Jenny are just four out of more than 60 million childhood sexual abuse survivors in the United States today. Most struggle with fear, depression, anger, hostility, inappropriate sexual behavior, poor self esteem, substance abuse and difficulty with close relationships, but every victim copes differently. Anna has chosen not to prosecute her offender who lives in her community. She still worries about protecting others from hurt. Twenty years after the event, she has just stepped on the path to healing. Many people like Anna struggle with whether to report the abuse they experienced months or years ago. Reporting the incident, even years later, can prevent a predator from continuing to assault others. The National Sexual Assault Hotline offers free, confidential help, 24 hours a day at 1.800.656.HOPE. The local police or the prosecutor's office can offer further information on the reporting process. Rickie is estranged from her sister and struggles with her sexuality. She has attempted suicide and suffers from self-mutilation. She seeks healing while serving as an interpreter for Spanish speakers who have been sexually abused or assaulted. Parker feels largely unaffected by the abuse that happened thirty years ago but fears he has blocked out important details. Parker’s mother strives to tell others about the warning signs and reducing the risk of abuse. Educating children that to say no or to leave when they feel uncomfortable will help them to protect themselves. When in doubt, parents should trust their instincts, following up if something feels wrong. Jenny has sought counseling and works with others suffering from sexual abuse and assault. She has three children with whom she talks openly about sexual issues, not only to armor them against abuse, but to encourage communication while strengthening and preparing them to make healthy relationship choices. According to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), talking to children about sex in age-appropriate ways greatly reduces the risk of them being sexually assaulted. Each of these people hope that in sharing their stories, others will find the strength to seek assistance. Counseling can help victims overcome the negative and false perceptions of themselves so they can move forward. “Don’t struggle to remain the person you once were,” said Anna. “Instead, allow yourself to become new again, and celebrate in the stronger person you will be.” All people in the article live and work in Holmes and Wayne counties, though their names and some details have been changed to protect their privacy. Next week will bring this series to a close by exploring how counseling can bring healing. Sidebar: If you are experiencing or have experienced sexual abuse, here are some resources you can trust. Every Woman’s House Hotline: (330) 263-1020 Toll-free hotline: 1-800-686-1122 Mental Health Recovery Board of Wayne and Holmes Counties Crisis Team Emergency number: 1-877-264-9029 RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network) Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE Online hotline at www.rainn.org. Ohio Alliance to End Sexual Violence 233-3301 Toll-free: (888) 886-8388 http://www.oaesv.org/ If you suspect that a child you know is being sexually abused, an excellent resource can be found at http://tinyurl.com/childhoodabuse.


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