5/2/12 Presence, time and radiance

By Nick Sabo
May 2, 2012
328

SUMMARY: Child abuse survivor says small moments bring about recovery for troubled children Bonnie Bazill-Davis is a big fan of anyone who takes time to make a difference in the life of an abused child - even if they might not realize theyve done it. Bazill-Davis was keynote speaker at the Holmes County Job and Family Services annual Child Abuse Prevention Breakfast Thursday April 26. Her message that recovery is a series of small steps was apt for the assembled group of counselors, social workers, foster parents and law enforcement officials who are at the frontline of the seemingly endless cycle of physical and sexual abuse. Someday, with your help, they are going to reach the top, Bazill-Davis said. Its hard to know if they havent gone down the abyss. I know this is happening to you every day. It feels like this is the processing plant. Bazill-Davis has been through the abyss in both her personal and professional life. Her road to recovery as a survivor of sexual abuse began with a note home from a concerned teacher. As a chemical dependency counselor, she was one of many steps on at least one young mans path to sobriety. Bazill-Davis said there are three attributes that best assist abused children: Presence, time, and radiance. Presence to sit and listen, time to talk and ask questions; and seeing the radiance in every child. Bazill-Davis used her own experience with sexual abuse to illustrate how presence, time and radiance helped her when manifested along her road to recovery. Bazill-Davis was sexually abused by her father from age 4 to 8. The abuse stopped after her second grade teacher sent a note home asking why little Bonnie was crying everyday. For years, Bazill-Davis pushed the abuse away into the recesses of her mind, eventually turning to drugs to cover the pain. As a teenager, she checked herself into a home for troubled youth. The intake councilor was Basill-Davis first encounter with presence. He didnt take notes. He was like, You are the most important person in my life right now, Bazill-Davis said. After laying her soul bare, Bazill-Davis said she went to bed with a huge sense of relief. But the happy ending didnt come right away. Three days later, her father pulled her out of the home and Bazill-Davis was right back where she started. Years later Bazill-Davis entered therapy and finally achieved recall of being sexually abused. Her therapist were moving her forward with their time; but a single interview with a Methodist pastor brought out the radiance. Bazill-Davis told the pastor that she believed she would never be happy, that when she looked at the world on a beautiful summer day she only saw the small lingering shadows, the dark things. His face had this look on it. He said, I believe Im in the presence of something holy, Bazill-Davis said. He began to tell me about prophets and their message...It gave me a mission, to share that darkness. I never saw myself as something holy. Going out to the car, I was doing my survivor dance. Im holy! Bazill-Davis found that her experiences were similar to others while counseling a man in his mid-20s whose drinking had already resulted in liver damage. The young mans father was also an alcoholic, and Bazill-Davis, in a last ditch attempt to stop the cycle in the family, sat the father and son down together. Naturally, the father stormed out of the room. This young man was going to die, and I failed, Bazill-Davis said. The young man never walked back into Bazill-Davis office. He did walk into her life in a Kroger parking lot years later, however, now a sober father of two. He pointed to two little girls, twins, and said I pray to God every day that they will never once see me drunk, Bazill-Davis said. That day in my office was the beginning for him, but I never knew. The vast majority of time, youre going to have to wait for your Kroger parking lot moment. The breakfast was held at the Carlisle Inn, Walnut Creek.

5/2/12 Presence, time and radiance

Lehman's

Berlin RV Park