8\23 Decisions and consequences

  • By Rick Hill
  • August 24, 2011
  • 369
                        
Had a great weekend at the mounted shoot in Indiana. My horse did fantastic, and I did OK. What that means in the level I run in is that's good enough for a placement. Most of the riders in level one are spending all their energy trying to make their horse do things it doesn't want to do, so that gives me an advantage having a seasoned horse. Captain McNish rode with me to Indiana, and our conversations led me to this weeks topic. If you have read these columns very long you know he is always up for a road trip. Part of it is because he knows something always happens that makes for a good story. The other part is so he doesn't have to go home. He has a nice enough wife, and they get along well. It's just they share no common interests since the children have grown up, and she expects him to go do what she wants when he is home. Like most folks they got married to raise a family, and all went well through that process. Also like most folks there wasn't much thought given to what comes next. In his case she has decided she likes raising children so she attends every grandchild's activity. That's seven days a week, and if there isn't an activity she's babysitting some friend's children. This has also been on my mind because my daughters are both in relationships. Both their boyfriends are gentlemen, and each would make a good neighbor. They share similar beliefs, and morals, and they are both ambitious enough to support a good lifestyle. The concern I have is in there interests. While dating it is easy to spend time doing what either one wants. After all, the benefit is spending time with someone you are attracted too. After marriage, and especially after the children have left, then what do you do. If you are fortunate you find some common interests to share. I know a few couples that have that luxury. The norm seems to be that one spouse or the other gets dragged to something they wouldn't otherwise attend. This works long term only if one or both partners is very giving, and patient. The alternative of course is divorce, and statistics point out that is an option on the upswing. I have spent some time thinking about this alternative, as several of my friends have divorced in the last few years. I can't even imagine the misery of being in a marriage without love, and I think that is a valid reason for separation. That being said letting go of a relationship that has lasted through the joys, and pains of raising a family seems like a terrible waste. Unfortunately; I don't have much advise for my daughters. For guys it's easy in most cases. Look at the mother, if that's who you want to be married to in twenty years then go for it. It's not one hundred percent, but a good bet. For girls they pretty much all think their guy will change for them, and turn into Prince Charming. Those girls need to plan on a life full of disappointment, and develop a lot of patience., Catch you later Rick


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