Column: The college years, part deux, are upon us and ready or not here she goes
Melissa Herrera (COLUMN)
August 26, 2013
391
Column summary: The college years, part deux, are upon us. Read about the preparation it takes to be ready for college. Involve your kids in the process - don't leave them in the dark!
By the time you read this I will have one extra bed in the house. The upstairs will be one voice shy of what it has been for eighteen years, and one more echoing laugh will go unheard. The dust will settle on the remnants of the room deemed unworthy to pack, childhood memories and teddy bears that arent needed in a college dorm. They will sit and stare into what is left, and wait for a loving hand to lift them once again and be held tight. This is the shell of what has been, and for me it is what I have prepared myself for. No more nights of random discussions on life and God, or even quick updates on friends that had become part of this house as well. Social media, for me, will become a lifeline to those dear faces that graced my home all hours of the day and night. I will miss the laughter and late-night Panther Hollow runs for which I waited to hear of the spooky thrills they encountered. Next summer, I think, it will all come back – at least for a little while. For now, high school is over and the unknown and well-waited for college years are upon us. I face it with bravado I dont necessarily have, while I tell her what I want her to hear, tears are not far below the surface.
College is not something to be entered into lightly. It is something to prepare for mentally, physically, and most of all financially. Having put one child through college has prepared me for the second one. It is a rigorous task that must be taken seriously – all the way from the FAFSA preparation, to making sure they know what they are getting into loan-wise. They need to be involved in this every step of the way. As a parent, dont find yourself doing everything so to speak, just so its over with. Involvement and knowledge is the best way for your kids to realize what they are going to have to pay back. If they head off to these institutions of learning to earn a degree without ever quite understanding the process of how they are affording it DOES NOT do them any favors.
The FAFSA is immeasurably the best resource available. Once completed, it lets you know what is available to you with federal loans, grants, and so forth. These loans and grants are given solely on the basis of your income. They are not handed out by what the color of your skin is. This is the biggest misconception I have ever run into in my life. You dont get more money because you are black, Hispanic, or white. You get grants because you make X amount of dollars. The federal subsidized and unsubsidized loans are all the same – per year of college. The farther you go the more you get on a tiered basis. You dont have to accept these loans, but they can be a God-send. Dont be afraid to apply for grants. My daughter applied EVERYWHERE for every kind of grant imaginable. They are available to everyone! There are grants for having blue eyes, grants for owning a cat, and grants for everything under the sun. Apply for them – dont wait. The winter of your senior year is prime time to fill out grant paperwork. You can find them from your school counselor and you can find them online to fill out. Take advantage of this. Good, hard work and grades in high school are invaluable when it comes to being accepted for college and getting scholarships as well. The SATs are a good measure of what you might be able to get when it comes to college. The higher your score the more money you get.
College is a privilege not everyone gets to participate in. Is it a right? Thats something Im not sure of. Hard work, studying, and doing your best is what it takes to get you there. Being able to STAY in college requires even more of that. If youre not prepared mentally and financially and just show up unprepared you may be in for a rude awakening. Parents, do your child the favor of including them every step of the way in the college preparation process. They may wake up one day with lots of student loans, etc. and wish they had been better informed.
So with this precious daughter, our preparation is done. Her student loans, grants, and scholarships are in place and everything is taken care of financially. She has gone through the financial counseling required of her to sign for these loans and she learned a lot, she said. Her books have been purchased off places like Amazon.com and textbooks.com – places where you can find them for much cheaper. They are shipping to us as we speak – winging their way to her waiting arms to be put to much good use. She paid for her books with her hard-earned money waitressing this summer. Purchasing them herself was a bit painful, but necessary. Its a growing experience. She has stacks of towels, wash cloths, and small containers full of necessary items such as toothpaste, cotton balls, and shampoo. The only thing left to do is to pack everything up neatly and deliver her to her dorm where we will help her hang her mirror, and I will make her bed so I know she will have a soft place to lay her head. I will miss her more than she will know, but she is ready and prepared to take on the college experience. I will rest easy when I go to sleep at night knowing that she is in a good place – and that we have helped her prepare to be in that place. My heart may be heavy at first, and I might look for her when the door opens and my son comes home from school. I too, have been in preparation. That preparation that makes you feel as if you may have misplaced your heart and dont quite know where you left it. But this is what life is. And it goes on.
