My wife approached me the other day and said, "I think we should take a cruise ... a Beatles cruise."
Curious, I asked when and where.
"It'd be in February," she said. "To celebrate your birthday."
Immediately, warning bells went off; I mean, who could possibly want to sail into Liverpool in the dead of a British winter?
Something didn't add up and I meant to get to the bottom of it.
"Tell me more," I said.
She hesitated for a moment or two.
"Well," she said, "it has something to do with the 50th anniversary of the Beatles playing on that TV show ... you know, Arthur Godfrey or Dean Martin, something like that."
The pieces started to click into place.
"You mean Ed Sullivan," I said.
"That's it," she said.
"Well," I said, "here's the thing: the Beatles appeared for the first time on American television on Feb. 9, 1964."
Faithful readers may recall that it's what I've always called "The Big Bang," the moment that changed everything in music and beyond.
"So?" my wife asked.
"Well, the 50th anniversary of the show won't be until 2014," I said. "It's simple math."
This kind of trivial knowledge can have one of two effects on people, my wife included.
Either they're impressed beyond belief ... or they'll shrug with a "Who cares?" attitude.
I am keenly aware of my wife's tendency toward the latter.
"But," she said, her defenses slowly crumbling, "the ship stops in Mexico and Jamaica and ... "
I placed my hand on her shoulder.
"Both well known for their connections to the Beatles," I said, smiling.
She deflected my sarcasm with a hint of the truth.
"Do you want to see a picture of our stateroom?" she asked.
"Sure," I said, "but this isn't really a Beatles cruise, is it? It's more a chance to experience warm places in the dead of winter. Right?"
A long silence followed.
And then she pulled back the curtain.
"There IS," she said, "a very good Beatles tribute band that plays two shows a night."
"On the boat?"
"Yes."
"Between Mexico and Jamaica?"
"Yes."
I just let it be.
My wife is one of those women who, if she isn't planning something -- usually something big, long range -- she's kind of lost. And unhappy. So I do my best to accommodate her wishes.
But if I'm going on a Beatles cruise, here's a quick Top Five list of the places I'd like to see:
5. The Philippines, where Imelda Macros went outhouse-rat crazy when the band wouldn't attend a party at her behest.
4. India, where the Maharishi tried to con the band into buying his bargain-basement brand of religion.
3. New York City, where the band ushered in the outdoor-arena era with that concert at Shea Stadium.
2. San Francisco, where the Beatles played their last show at Candlestick Park.
1. Liverpool, for reasons that are too obvious to list.
I'd also like to visit Hamburg, the German town where the group learned how to play as a band, and perhaps the Bahamas, where they filmed some of "Help!" or one of those towns in the American South where kids burned their albums after John Lennon spoke his mind about religion.
Here's the thing about the Beatles, though.
They touched every inch of the world.
That's where I made my mistake.
My wife, wanting to experience some sunshine and beach time in the dead of winter, had made me realize something.
Even if the Beatles aren't usually associated with Mexico or Jamaica or wherever it is that ship will dock, there are doubtless thousands -- millions -- of people who still play their music.
There Beatles are beyond all commonly held parameters.
They still, in a bad week, sell more albums than almost every act out there.
Their music stands the test of time and kids half my age and younger are finding out for themselves what I -- and maybe you -- understood immediately.
There are the Beatles ... and then, every other band falls into line behind them.
It's a long and winding list.
Could lead us to Mexico.
Or Jamaica.
I can think of worse ways to celebrate another birthday.
Mike Dewey can be emailed at CarolinamikeD@aol.com or snail-mailed at 6211 Cardinal Drive, New Bern, NC 28560.
