Healthy Relationships

By Lee Ann Miller
January 26, 2011
288

I have probably traveled more in the last three years than I have all of my life combined. There are several reasons for this, but the biggest one is time. At certain stages in my life, I have been so busy I didnt have time to travel for fun at all. Now, its like my life has this big, wrapped up gift and travel is the bright red bow. This past October I met 12 girlfriends in Florida and it was glorious. We all knew and spent time together 20 years ago and decided it was high time to re-unite. Rounding up everyone was no easy feat. Three of my friends are from overseas, the others are scattered hither and thon. My oh my how our age changes things- we pulled into the two condos and never left until it was time to head home. One friend, Rosanna, made the grocery lists and planned the menus. Another girlfriend, Dianne, did the shopping. And I mean shopping! We had two refrigerators full of groceries for our time in the surf and sand. Rosanna is an amazing chef; we ate like queens every meal. Each evening after a delicious supper we would all gather around and each take turns telling our story. Because some of us had lost close contact with one another, our stories were full of life. The beauty of babies being born, the sorrow of a baby being laid to rest. We heard the rewards of a family on the mission field and the grief of losing a godly Father. As I sat and listened to each memory, each chapter, I marveled at the spirit of a person- the choice to hope, the ability to endure, the gift of laughter. I couldnt help but be inspired and grateful for each of these wonderful women, so full of good. At the conclusion of every story, we would all gather around our friend and pray for that life, that story, the next 20 years. It was beautiful. That week in Daytona was a lovely reminder of how important relationships are and how our stories intersect with each other to paint a colorful landscape. Healthy relationships breathe life and multiply good things in our personal world. Healthy relationships are a pure gift. A healthy relationship will not degrade, insult, threaten or beat you down. A healthy relationship builds you up, speaks to your strengths, listens to your hearts desires, and believes in your dreams with you. A healthy relationship isnt jealous or possessive, doesnt try to control you and celebrates when good things happen in your life. Some people may say that to unconditionally love someone you tolerate whatever behavior a person dishes out. I dont agree. I believe sometimes to love someone well, you stand up and create a boundary that says, I wont be treated this way or this is wrong, I wont participate. Does that mean you talk bad about a person? No. Does that mean you are rude and unkind? No. It simply means you create what my counselor says is life giving boundaries. Boundaries that help you and other people cultivate healthy relationships and live peaceably. To learn more about creating boundaries there is a great book called Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. What relationships in your life need re-evaluated? Who do you need to re-connect with? What healthy relationships do you have that you need to cultivate more? Do your relationships inspire you and create growth and good? Stik a Fork into a sunny destination, the choice of hope and life-giving boundaries. Here is a fabulous recipe from Rosanna at the Girlfriend Retreat. Pasta Pan-Fried with Butternut Squash, Fried Sage, and Pine Nuts feeds 4 1 medium butternut squash 1 small sweet onion, peeled and diced 3 cloves garlic, minced Olive oil Salt and pepper 1/2 cup fresh sage leaves 1 pound farfalle pasta - I use Dreamfields pasta 1/3 cup pine nuts, toasted 2 ounces high quality Parmesan, shredded or shaved (about a cup total) Heat the oven to 375°. Cut the butternut squash in half and scoop out the strings and seeds the middle cavity. Flip the squash halves upside down and peel them. (Note: The raw squash rind can irritate your hands. If they start to itch or tingle, wear gloves.) Cut the squash into 1-inch cubes. Toss with the onion, garlic, a drizzle of olive oil and salt and pepper. Mince about half of the fresh sage leaves and also toss with the squash. Spread the squash mixture in a thin layer on a large baking sheet and roast for about 40 minutes or until the squash is soft. Heat salted pasta water to boiling and cook the farfalle until al dente. Drain and set aside. As the squash finishes roasting, heat about two tablespoons of olive oil in a large high-sided sauté pan. The oil is ready when it pops and sputters. (Don't let it start smoking.) Drop in the rest of the sage leaves and fry for about a minute, or until they begin to just shrivel up. Remove with a slotted spoon and salt lightly. Crush with the back of a spoon. Add half the pasta to the pan, along with half the roasted squash mixture. Crumble in half the sage. Cook, stirring frequently, for five minutes or until the pasta is heated through and getting crispy on some of the edges. Add the pine nuts and cook for another minute. Stir in half the cheese and serve. (Repeat the last step with the rest of the ingredients. We split it into two because none of our pans are big enough to accommodate the entire recipe. It's very important that you not crowd the pan too much - you want the pasta to really pan-fry, not just steam up.)

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