I just want everyone to like me.

  • by Lee Ann Miller
  • March 11, 2013
  • 310
                        
Summary: I want to be liked. I mean, I want EVERYONE to like me. This is unhealthy. This needed professional counseling. Column: I have a thing that I do that can quickly go from being a strength to a weakness. That’s true for a lot of stuff in life, isn’t it? Sometimes too much isn’t a good thing. I’m a thinker. I like to jump on an idea and got for it. But sometimes I latch onto things, a concept or situation and get obsessed. I toil and over think. I analyze and almost wear myself out from all the toiling and over thinking. Some people might say that’s vision, dedication and having the ability to “see it through.” And I would agree, except I think when it overtakes your ability to talk about, think about or focus on anything else, that’s when it’s unhealthy. This trait can seep into circumstances and relationships too. I can get crazy thinking about the details of something that might be happening in my life. This is where counseling has helped me a great deal. A counselor helps get to the root of “the why” of actions and responses. A lot of the root of why I do some of the obsessing I do is so that people will like me. I have this need to be liked. Like, I mean, a BIG need to be liked. I have told myself throughout the years if people like me that it means this: I’m good enough, bright enough, pretty enough and simply put, I am a winner in the world, a gold medal, best person EVER. I know that’s wrong and screwed up, but it’s honest and what I can fall into sometimes. Here is how I have helped myself from being a victim to “Everybody Likes Lee Ann” drama. 1.) I started professional counseling about seven years ago. I still go every few months to keep on track with wise boundaries, thoughts and actions. Friends are an awesome support, but honestly, I was wearing them out (which they wouldn’t admit, but it’s true). 2.) I cultivated new friendships with people I respect and admire. I ask those wise friends for input into my life but don’t overtax and exhaust them with things that belong to my counselor. 3.) I read more than ever before, reading expands thinking and makes a better brain. It also refreshes, renews and restarts your mind. 4.) I am still exploring, questioning, talking and writing to God in an open, honest way. I pray what is truly in my heart, I tell Him everything. I cannot express how much this has changed my faith and my ability to let go of things. 5.) I’m working on saying what needs said in a kind, truthful way. Sometimes saying the difficult thing can be the wisest, most beneficial thing for someone. Even if they don’t like it. And I’m noticing when I do this, I let go of over thinking about someone or something. It really makes my mind feel free! Do you over think? Over analyze? Talk something to death? Stik a Fork In to knowing who you are, living it and finding freedom. And maybe just calling a counselor.


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