Learning the art of letting go

by Lee Ann Miller
March 18, 2013
363

Summary: Just yesterday he was driving a tricycle, learning the a,b,c's and wearing a one-piece superhero costume. Now he's 18. Now I need to learn the art of letting go. Column: When Teddy was little he used to say he wanted to wear his bare feet instead of shoes, he was serious about schoolwork and called our guests at the B&B the Peoples. He has always loved warm bread, a thrilling book and has a new fascination with sloths. And even though he is responsible, witty and tall, he is still our firstborn son, still that heartbeat we listened to on that ultrasound so long ago. We have an 18 year old now. I could probably say that everyday and still not quite believe it. My brain is just on this pause button with our oldest son, its hard for me to make his transition into adulthood. In fact, I think its challenging for 18 year olds too. Its a tricky spot gliding from a kid to an adult. And this letting go section of our story is a little different than I thought it would be, for both of us. Its a mixture of emotions, and ultimately, we are all so happy for Teddy and his next season in life. Here are some things I have noticed about Mom (me) and Son (Teddy). Ill leave my husband and our youngest son out of this particular part because they seem to be handling it all just great (is this common for a lot of us?). I am tardy. First, since turning 18, I have been reminded, by our man-child, of how old he is, especially during certain conversations. Mom, Im 18. Now, any teenager reading this at this moment, dont remind your Mothers of how old you are. WE carried you around in our womb for heavens sake, we havent forgotten your age. We know. We really do know. Instead try this, You know Mom, I realize you still see me as a young kid, but Im growing up. Im becoming an adult and I think its time to talk about changing your approach and thinking regarding some areas of my life. Or something similar to that. And dont quote me, I dont want beat up by your Mom in the grocery line at Walnut Creek Cheese. Bottom line, as Mothers we are very well aware of your age. We just might be having a tough time with the whole idea that youre growing up. Another thing that has been happening is that I have been hovering around our eldest. Its true. I think I know why Ive been needy, hugging a little way too often and texting like Ive never had a phone. Its because Im aware. I know that time is running out like water from a glass on a hot, sweaty day. Each moment seems to prick my heart with the need to squeeze it for all its worth. Hes leaving. Hes going to college. The deposit has been paid and he will be packing totes and moving in a dorm room, seven hours away. He is really 18. Not 4 or 9 or 13. He is an adult. And Im learning the careful art of letting go. This isnt a time to air all my regrets, but I do have an important one. There were a few years we ran too hard, worked too much and spread time too thin. If thats you, dont do it. Dont trade a newer car, a better house, big bills or more money in the bank, or even serving/ministry for time with your children. Its not worth it. And life doesnt redeem that time like a mail-in rebate. The time and memories built within it are priceless. Nothing compares. Nothing is worth the trade. Nothing. Do you need to learn to let go? Do you work too much and lose time with your family? Stik a Fork into holding onto memories, learning to let go and knowing what not to trade.