The November Breezes

  • by Trish Berg
  • November 7, 2013
  • 361
                        
Struggling with loads of laundry, clutter in the kitchen and chaos in your life? Stress can easily steal our joy. Trish Berg reminds us to simplify the small stuff and find Joy in the Journey. With the November breezes comes a time to remember what we have been given, the blessings of our life. Every November I am reminded of many blessings and many losses, and even in the losses are blessings. Let me explain. In November of 1997, my dad passed away. He was young, only sixty-four. At the time, I thought he was too young to die, now that I am in my mid-forties, I know that he was very young to have finished his life on earth. My dad was not perfect, he was far from it. After my parents divorced, he left and moved to Florida, followed by Texas, California and New York. He was a project engineer, and he went where his job took him with little regard for the two daughters he was leaving behind. He did spend some time in Ohio, and my sister and I did travel a couple of times each year to visit him. But needless to say, he was not very much of a dad because he was not very much present in my life. I was missing a dad. In his later years, my dad had a stroke, and we were left to take care of him. The dad who never really took care of us was now dependent on us. He had no one else. So we did what was needed, and we loved and cared for him until the day he died. That was over fifteen years ago, and every November those memories still whisper in my ear as the breezes get colder and the trees become bare. And though these memories seem clothed in sadness, there is also a lot of joy in there if you know where to look. As a child, my dad was my hero. He was everything to me. And he left. Those scars are still there, and even today they sometimes hurt. But the scars have also been healed over by my forgiveness. I was able to forgive my dad for not being the dad I needed him to be, and accepting the dad he was. He was the best dad he knew how to be, and I love him for that. Through forgiveness, there is healing. I truly believe that God worked on my heart and helped me to forgive my dad, love and care for him. And in the end, my very proud dad who lived his whole life without Christ, came to accept His gift of grace and forgiveness the last week of his life. He was beaten down physically from the strokes and pneumonia, and he knew he was dying. In that knowledge, he was able to let go of his independence and become dependent on the One who mattered most. Today the November breezes whipped around me as I walked to my car. I stopped, caught my breath and remembered my dad, and that cold November day when he passed away. I was sad for a moment at the thought of losing him, and that sadness comes and goes. Every memory seems to have a place in my heart, and even when I feel the loss of my dad, I am reminded that even in the losses there are blessings. Like the feeling of finally forgiving my dad for not being the dad I needed. And like the leaves dancing on the wind, the forgiveness dances in my heart. I guess there’s a lot to be thankful for.


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