Brown bag blonde
Needless to say, I have been under an extremely tight budget this week, as last pay period I overdrew around $200. I had overdraft protection and figured everything would be OK, but apparently, the bank thought I abused my privileges and revoked all overdraft protection services. It's never a good thing to start a pay week off minus $200. When I explained to my boyfriend what happened, he simply said, "So what you're saying is… you single handedly ruined your life for the next two weeks and you need to borrow some money?" I hate it when he says it like that.
But to counteract last paycheck's bad habits, I have been quite conservative in my spending this time around. I have even resorted to packing my lunch every single day! However, I have still had to borrow no less than $80 dollars from random family members for gas.
But back to the lunch packing. If you've followed my blogs thus far, you probably already know I'm a terrible cook, which makes a sack lunch that much more interesting. If there isn't leftovers from mom's home cooked meal, I have to get creative. Usually my lunches consist of a sandwich, salad, or fruit. Nothing too wild and crazy, but something definitely not as good as Wendy's or Subway.
Well last week, I packed a banana to accompany my soup and sandwich combo. I love bananas, but that day, I just didn't want to eat it. So I sat it on the small filing cabinet in my office. And there is sat for a couple days.
Friday rolled around, and although slightly browned, I thought the banana was still edible and would surely rot to no end if left all weekend in my office. Nobody wants to show up Monday with an office smelling like rotted banana. So I shoved the banana in my purse and off I went for a fun-filled weekend of sleeping and shopping.
Speaking of shopping, I met a girlfriend on Saturday for a shopping spree at the mall. When she picked me up, I grabbed my purse and off we went. Naturally, you can't shop on an empty stomach, so we got some lunch in the food court first.
Once I was done eating, I did what I normally do and pulled my compact out to check and make sure no food had lodged itself between my teeth. As I reached into my bag (which is so big, I call it my Mary Poppins bag), something squished in my hands.
"Ew. I think my lotion exploded," I said to my friend Amanda. And as I said it, I leaned over and took a big whiff of the supposed lotion in my bag. "Hmm… that doesn't SMELL like lotion," I said. (You mean to tell me YOU wouldn't first smell your bag to determine the gooey contents?)
So I started to dig around in the bag, moving things side to side when I noticed what I had squished - a slightly shriveled, extremely split open, disgusting brown banana.
"Oh no," I said, as my eyes met Amanda's.
"What?" she asked, obviously unaware of what I had just seen, possibly growing mold in the bottom of my bag.
I didn't respond, as I wanted to put out the fire before it spread. But I had to be careful how I handled this situation. Just like MacGyver, I had to figure out a way to get the bomb of a banana out of the Mary Poppins bag without it exploding all over the place, leaving traces of smelly, squishy goo all over my cell phone, iPod, makeup case, wallet, and the kitchen sink.
After some clever maneuverability, I eventually got the banana out, to the disgust of my shopping partner and any passersby. I threw it away and decided I wasn't buying any clothes at the mall that day, since packing my lunch is vastly overrated… and resulted in mass humiliation in the center of the mall food court. And who knows what decomposed mystery fruit would show up in my bag following another week of packing? Too bad there's no such thing as a McDonald's charge card.