Americans don’t eat soft-boiled eggs

Americans don’t eat soft-boiled eggs
Scott Daniels

Americans don’t eat soft boiled eggs as they do in Great Britain and other European countries. If you like yours sunny side up, you’ll love them soft boiled.

                        

“Just drop them in the box,” I said, pointing to the large cardboard box on the counter already filled with dishes carefully wrapped in newspaper for the move to a new house. “They’ll be fine.”

My father-in-law, the home builder, the cabinet maker, the skilled fisherman, the guy who would hang the TV on the wall for us in less than five minutes, thought better of it. He wrapped each of the egg cups in paper and placed them carefully in the box. After he learned what they were, he treated them with respect.

You see I have egg cups, four of them in fact. They’re plain white, as proper ones are, and they get used a fair amount because I like soft-boiled eggs. Both the eggs and their cups are a rarity in the U.S., something that erupted into a torrent of internet controversy recently.

It was one of those “what are you thuggish brute Americans thinking?” kind of kerfuffles and began with a fellow in Scotland who somehow discovered Americans don’t really care for soft-boiled eggs so much.

His indignant tweets were far too expletive heavy to repeat fully here, but the long thread of them boiled (sorry) down to "YOU DON’T HAVE EGG CUPS? HOW DO YOU EAT SOFT BOILED EGGS? WAIT, YOU DON'T EAT SOFT BOILED EGGS? NEXT I’LL FIND OUT YOU DON’T HAVE KETTLES!"

It didn’t take long for social media venues to erupt in bombs thrown across the Atlantic from both continents. Americans blinked confusedly and asked, “Egg cups? What the heck is an egg cup?” And all of Europe stood agape at this new fuel for their long confusion at how such a population thick with idiots could have possibly come to dominate the planet.

And when America responded with photo evidence of the water kettles sitting on their burners, Europe fired back, “That’s not a kettle, you twits!”

In other parts of the world, “kettle” refers to an electrically heated vessel, sitting on its own on the counter, which does nothing but boil water quickly. We have them here of course, but I think Americans stand at the store, consider buying such a kettle and put it back.

There’s a thing for boiling water already on the stove, why duplicate? I used to have such a kettle, a really nice UK-made thing by Russell Hobbs. They’re very handy. But I now have an oversized, equally British plated copper stovetop kettle, which I was happily surprised to find on the clearance tables at Lehman Brothers for 75 percent off the already 50 percent off price.

It has seen use multiple times a day since 2009, and there’s no need to retire it in favor of something that would only take up counter space.

Americans don’t seem to eat soft-boiled eggs, which is a shame. If you like yours sunny side up, you’ll love them soft-boiled.

You really do need the cups to hold them. You cut the top off and dip out the runny yolk and solid white bits with a spoon or piece of toast: quick, easy, no pan to scrub.

On my one trip to Europe, I asked for eggs for breakfast at a B&B in Austria, and they didn’t ask how I wanted them. They brought out soft-boiled eggs in little white cups, and that sold me.

Here’s how: Boil water, lower to a slow simmer, then use a spoon to softly lower the eggs into the pan. Cover, wait five minutes and lift them back out.

I do have egg cups, you silly Brits.


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