Sharing some rather peculiar kitchens
- Laura Moore: Housebroken
- January 14, 2025
- 136
As many houses as Taller Half and I have lived in over the years, not one of them had a normal kitchen. All the kitchens we lived with were, at best, peculiar.
One of our kitchens, though pretty as a picture, was dumber than dough. It never did anything right — it burned food, broke dishes and cracked glasses. For some strange and unknown reason, the only things that did well in that kitchen were house plants, which thrived in that place. It would have excelled as a greenhouse.
The kitchen in our first house longed to be a laundry room. It was certainly the right size for it, as the washer and dryer hogged most of the space, forcing the poor stove, refrigerator, sink and cabinets to huddle together in a little alcove. It was a great place to do laundry but a terrible place to prepare meals.
The most maddening of all our kitchens was a great big place that would have served very nicely as a game room. Its cabinets were more decorative than functional, and the appliances were temperamental and unreliable. That kitchen produced only disasters, accidents and popcorn with ease; everything else took great efforts.
A good friend also had a big kitchen, but she loved hers. It was so beautifully designed and well-organized it practically ran itself. With seemingly little effort, it helped produce delicious meals in a timely fashion.
Our current kitchen is not dysfunctional as all the rest have been, but it’s not particularly efficient. It shares its space with the washer and dryer, and the storage and work space are rather limited. The room is narrow, which makes it very difficult for two people to work there without getting in each other’s way. It has been the scene of several collisions, resulting in some rather messy spills.
Perhaps I should just give up cooking, which I probably should have done years ago. With a microwave, a toaster oven, a coffee pot and the refrigerator, we can survive if we get frozen or prepared meals. To me, that is a wonderful idea. To my Taller Half, not so much, as he won’t be happy with such a limited menu. So he has decided to take over the cooking.
Which I guess means my plan worked, even though that means I’m left with
cleanup duties. Totally worth it because he’s a better cook and I’m a better kitchen cleaner.