New book addresses forms of modern-day abuse
Author Dr. Cheryl LeJewell Jackson, left, is an abuse survivor. Author Erika Shalene Hull is a domestic abuse survivor.
She calls herself victim number eight. Local author and business owner Erika Hull is one of nine women who was abused by the same man.
Just a few years after escaping her abuser with her four children and little but the shirts on their backs, Hull is on a journey of self-healing and has co-authored a book titled “...but that’s not me.”
The book is currently being edited for a relaunch in January 2022. The collaboration between Hull and abuse survivor Dr. Cheryl LeJewell Jackson aims to help victims of abuse rise above the power and control of their abusers.
By combining the stories of a number of women, the book examines the many forms abuse can take and tackles some of the stereotypes of abusers and their victims.
“The book isn’t about bringing attention to me or my abuser,” Hull said. “The point of the book is to teach and help others. We wanted to give abuse a common language and use examples through storytelling to help readers not only comprehend, but also feel and experience abuse. Therefore, they gain a new perspective and perception, even if they’ve never gone through it.”
The common language Hulls spoke of is a way of recognizing and describing examples of modern-day abuse such as isolation, threats, name-calling, gas-lighting, financial captivity and using fear or suicidal threats to control someone’s behavior. Hull hopes the book will help readers better recognize abuse and start having real conversations about it in order to reduce its occurrence.
“Everything we’ve been told and the examples we’ve been given have been sensationalized,” Hull said. “We have this vision in our heads about what domestic abuse is, but domestic abuse is any form of abuse that happens within the vicinity of where you spend the majority of your time. It’s your boss screaming at you and calling you a stupid idiot. It’s your mom calling you a fat slob. It’s your boyfriend who demands that you text him constantly and two friends who treat each other horribly.
“Abuse isn’t something we can eliminate, but we can decrease it, and we can definitely make a significant difference. If we start having the difficult conversations, then we will make a true impact.”
The book intentionally mixes the stories so the reader cannot identify whose story is whose. The common thread tying the stories together, though, is the cruelty experienced at the hands of someone all these women thought they could trust.
“I was a strong, confident, educated woman from a wonderful family,” Hull said. “I ‘knew’ what an abused woman looked like, and that wasn’t me, at least that’s what I thought.”
Hull said she had always compared herself to others, thinking her situation was not as bad as other abuse victims. “I kept saying, ‘But that’s not me.’ What I’ve learned is that it is me, but it’s just piece of me. It was and it forever will be part of me, but it doesn’t define me,” Hull said.
Excerpt from the book
“It’s so easy to think ‘but that’s not me’ when we hear stories of abused women. The more we deny it, the longer we cling to the hope that our relationship can be saved or we aren’t so lost that we can’t find our way back to the life we have been dreaming about since we were little girls. Unfortunately, it is this way of thinking that keeps many women in abusive, hopeless relationships for far too long.”
How to order
There are two ways readers can order copies of “...but that’s not me.” Both options can be accessed at www.ifundwomen.com/projects/thats-not-me. There, the pre-edited manuscript can be ordered as an e-book, and the edited version can be preordered. Those who preorder for the January relaunch will receive both an e-book version and a paperback signed by the authors.