November is National Adoption Month: Hostetler family grows by 3
By Teri Stein
November 16, 2016
647
The Dennis and Jeanne Hostetler family of Sugarcreek grew by three this week. The adoption of the couples three newest family members Emily, 3; Isabel, 4; and Kayli, 6 was recently made final at the Tuscarawas County Courthouse.
The three new sisters were siblings before they joined the Hostetler family and their biological brother Trig, 8, who was adopted by the couple earlier. The four seemed happy to be together as they played in their backyard on a warm, sunny fall day with their other adopted siblings: Trevor, 5, and Skyler, 8. The Hostetlers have one biological daughter: Sarah, who is 14.
Research has shown what the Hostetlers have observed: how beneficial it is to keep siblings together. It would have been devastating to split them up, Jeanne Hostetler said.
Its our experience that they are very connected, said Dennis Hostetler, who is currently the pastor at Pleasant View Mennonite Church.
Jeanne Hostetler, a former nurse who is now a stay-at-home mom, also directs the childrens homeschooling. She bakes her own bread and makes yogurt, said Sarah Hostetler, who is happy to have begun recently to help her mother with some of the cooking.
Sarah Hostetler in particular is happy that foster to adopt has worked out for her family. I tried to think that I wont let myself get attached to these kids unless I know they are going to stay, but it didnt work that way.
The Hostetlers consider themselves lucky that every child that they fostered ended up staying even though it may not have started out that way.
The Lord saw it differently, Dennis Hostetler said.
The whole family has learned valuable lessons about caring. Adoption has taught us so much about love. For us to have our child (Sarah) for six years, to love her was very natural. With foster children you grow to love them, Dennis Hostetler said.
Many times a foster child has issues to overcome. To parent well in these situations, if you want them to be able to heal, you have to do a lot of work yourself. I didnt think it would take so much work, Jeanne Hostetler said. Its emotional healing. You cant take them somewhere you havent been or arent willing to go.
The changes are small and take time. Its rare to see something overnight, Jeanne Hostetler said.
Small changes are celebrated. Its a big victory to get them all to play together, said Dennis Hostetler, who noticed at the beginning of foster care each child tried continuously to get his or Jeannes attention.
Its not all rainbows and butterflies, Dennis Hostetler said. There is work to it. Weve been fortunate. The other message is that more people can do it than they think. We arent that special. You just have to be willing to give your heart.
The Hostetlers said one key to foster and adoptive care is they are not threatened by the childrens feelings for their biological parents. The Hostetlers are open in allowing visits and appropriate contact or sharing information about the children with their biological families.
After a while developing as a family becomes routine, and the children grow together just as in any family.
You always love them, but sometimes you can get very angry with them, Sarah Hostetler said. They are just normal siblings.
November is National Adoption Month, and there is always a need for foster and adoptive families. National Adoption Day on Nov. 19 is a collective national effort to raise awareness of the more than 100,000 children in foster care across the nation waiting to find permanent, loving families.
Anyone interested in foster care or adoption should call Gayle Hahn at the Tuscarawas County Job and Family Services office in New Philadelphia at 330-308-7745.
